PINCH! *twin cities

Heathen and earth

2007-07-11T11:57:00.000-06:00

Sometimes we want to go all fancypants. We want to celebrate things like new jobs, new beginnings, and falling in love. We want to toast full moons and big hearts and giant skyscrapers decorated with clouds. We want to praise the day and the night like both Pietists and heathens--and we want to do it wrapped in thick, downy duvets and with a head full of sweet strawberries and bubbly champagne.

Downtown Minneapolis' new Westin Hotel, located in the former Farmers and Mechanics Building, is all fancypants and retro-modern and gloriously high-design. The rooms are like art pieces reflecting simplicity and patterns, and the ways they are repeated with perfection in life and earth: There are squares making baby squares, lines connecting in mid-life, and waves creating fossilized drips. And right now, the newest Minneapolis hotel is offering sweet packages, like the "Indulgence" offer that gives you a treat upon arrival, free breakfast, and late check-out.

Of course the stay wouldn't be complete without a trip to the lobby restaurant, B.A.N.K. Here, we had one of the most fabulous dinners we've had in a while. The arugula salad comes with a creamy, lemon-emulsion dressing decorating the side of the bowl like lickable dessert ($8). The salmon was as fresh and thick as a filet mignon ($18). And the molten chocolate cake was as close to God as any gluttonous, heathen-esque celebration can get.

Minneapolis Westin, 6th and Marquette

BANK Restaurant

Summer's finest salad

2007-07-10T09:14:00.000-06:00

Minnesotans don't understand or appreciate a true Caesar salad. At least that's the inevitable conclusion a true aficionado must come to after months of looking for the real deal in our fair cities. For starters, any establishment that can't or won't put real anchovies on top should be required to wear a "hopelessly corrupted by regional preferences" label.

There may not be a lot of authentic Caesars around, but there are some that are ambitious and bold enough to qualify for "beyond authentic" categorization. The Bulldog in Northeast offers just such a salad.

Full romaine leaves are slathered in dressing (we love a dinner salad that you cut yourself with a knife, as if it were a nice big T-Bone steak), and topped with oiled bread cubes and two lovely little deep-fried anchovies. There was so much garlic in the dish that four hours later a friend sniffed the air and delicately asked, "Did you just eat a sandwich?"

Wayzata Yacht Club for the less ambitious: The EMYC

2007-07-09T05:56:00.000-06:00

At first, we were repelled by the Centennial Lakes development in Edina-- it felt like a cheap Disneyworld for empty nesters with its quaint fake lakes and its quaint Potemkin village shopping centers and its fake community.

The one thing that melted our hearts? The old dudes in plaid and denim and rubber boots who brought their model sailboats down to the "lake" and sailed the little sea under a light press of autumn air.

It turns out the Edina Model Yacht Club is the only group of its kind in the Twin Cities. Each Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday evening they have the run of the central pond with their radio-controlled sailers and electric tugboats. (Gasoline engines strictly prohibited in the bylaws, "to maintain a quiet atmosphere." God bless you, gentlemen.)

Edina Modle Yacht Club,http://www.emyc.org/

No cars, just slides

2007-06-29T09:58:00.000-06:00

When we first heard about Jim Lupient Water Park, our first thought was: "Seriously? What's next?! The Denny Hecker Dodgeball Arena?" Of course, the very thought of a car-salesman-sanctioned dodgeball joint turned us into giddy fifth graders on a field trip, and we did think about calling up ol' Heck and offering up a business idea so bold it would likely shift the car-dealing paradigm. But then we decided to keep it close to the vest, and near our hearts.

Despite its name, Jim Lupient Water Park is loads of fun. (Someone would like us to say "carloads," but we will refrain.) It's right across from the Quarry in Northeast, and because of this, it is made to look like a quarry, that is if a quarry were made of foam boulders.

But the best thing about this city cool-off pool are the three large waterslides that come in three different colors and speeds. We like to think of them as banana, strawberry, and orange. True to form, banana is the fastest and slipperiest of all the fruits. (If comedy has taught us anything, it's also the slipperiest form of street debris known to man.) This, dear friends, is why "banana" is eight seconds of body-like-a-bullet pleasure.

Six bucks gets you in, which is like two schillings for a day of swimming, soaking, sunbathing, and sliding through fruity slides. We can't guarantee the slides taste as sweet as they look, but we can attest to their fun factor for all ages. In fact, we've found ourselves in line with, er, "carloads" of other adults, and the only thing we were ashamed of was saying "carloads."

Jim Lupient Water Park: http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=4&parkid=364

For whom the bell tolls

2007-06-28T11:27:00.000-06:00

The old Standard Oil Station on Nicollet Avenue sounds like the inside of a gigantic pinball machine. We're trapped inside its robin's-egg-blue enamel walls where ring-dings and kid's screams and bonus-point-bells zigzag and bounce their way through mazes of red metal-fleck chairs and turnstiles of chocolate-covered arms.

At Liberty Frozen Custard, born last year in an old garage stall, everything is over the top. And even that top, which is way beyond that other top, comes with whipped cream and a cherry on its precarious and so, so sweet tip-toppy point.

While there on a recent visit, we got our little sticky hands on some of the sweetest and saltiest and gooiest sundaes ever to touch these sun-burnt lips. Made with vanilla frozen custard (a creamier soft-serve), topped with sweet and warm caramel, and sprinkled with salty pecans shipped in from a special nut-house in Chicago (the non-crazy kind), this two-scoop bowl of milky goodness only cost us $2.80. In fact, for lactose lovers, Liberty has all kinds of cheap but delicious custards and sundaes, including one that apparently tastes like freedom. (We imagine it tastes like the future, and maybe fireworks and gold.)

And if being inside a pinball machine feels like too much, there's always magazine-reading that's sure to reduce the cacophony to an American breeze. Our favorite? A 1960 copy of Man's Illustrated, where we learned all about sex swindles, aliens, and those love-mad women known as "nymphomaniacs." As American and pure as apple pie indeed.

Liberty Frozen Custard: http://libertyfrozencustard.com/index.htm

A ride worthy of Dr. Seuss

2007-06-27T11:04:00.000-06:00

The coolest vehicle in the city? It's not that '55 Chevy at Porky's at the Midway. It's not that pocket bike downtown on Washington on a Thursday night. And it's not even one of those wacky tallbikes that looks like an escaped section of scaffolding.

No, the neatest vehicles in town are those Dr. Seussian paddle-wheel driven milfoil eaters that are presently making the rounds on our namesake lakes.

Just yesterday, we beat the heat by swimming illegally through the sailboat buoys at Lake Harriet, and discovered to our delight that the milfoil eaters have been busy munching away at our most ubiquitous alien species.

Just take a moment today to consider the ingenuity of humankind--which, in this case, is sort of chasing its own tail, since we're responsible for the infestation in the first place. But still.

PMC Aquatic Harvesters, http://pmcproduction.com/aquatic_harvester_action.html

The boy who escaped from the circus

2007-06-26T07:08:00.000-06:00

Have you seen this man wandering around Uptown? If so, walk up to him, introduce yourself, and ask him about his 80 years in show business. Dudley Riggs is, of course, best known for founding his comedy theater, but he was born into a show business family, and spent most of his childhood as a circus and Vaudeville performer.

He landed in Minneapolis in the 1950s when the circus ran out of money, and he opened the first espresso cafe west of New York, in Northeast. He put up a stage in the corner, he shooed the beatnicks away (including a youthful and ever-nasal Bob Dylan), and he spent the rest of his life trying to keep the Twin Cities laughing.

Riggs is a walking museum of circus lore, Vaudeville experience, and improv theater genius--truly a local treasure.

The secret key to the perfect summer meal

2007-06-25T07:57:00.000-06:00

One of the humble, unacknowledged elements that really kind of finishes a summer day to perfection is shredded cabbage and dressing. In a word: slaw. There's sweet and simple, there's tangy and biting, there's green cabbage, there's red cabbage.

If anything competes with lemonade for the true taste of summer, it's the crunch of ice-cold cole slaw.

Any self-respecting BBQ joint around town serves it in a little ramekin alongside slabs of ribs and baked beans and those starchy potato wedges they call french fries. Most are perfectly serviceable and toothsome. But we found the best cup of slaw in an unexpected place: At the Tin Fish, Lake Calhoun's odd little fish and chips stand. (Odd, because it's kinda pricey, but definitely the dough, for a paper plate of fresh salmon, calamari, haddock, or salmon and yummy criss-cross-cut fries.)

Tin Fish's slaw is of the vinegar-based variety, with a light treatment of parsley. It's simple and straightforward, and it's precisely the thing to clear the palate when you're finished with your delicious breaded and fried greaseplate.

Feed your sacred heart

2007-06-22T11:12:00.000-06:00

She was having a bad day. She needed to get away, run, maybe start over. Paris. That's where she should be. Suddenly she understood the true meaning of "Montmartre" (mountain of the martyr). Because there she was perched on its highest peak, in downtown Minneapolis, in the frozen and eroded parts of corporate America, where the click-clop of slip-on heels are like the warnings of a thousand horse hooves: "They're coming! They're coming! The enemy is coming!"

Wait..why was she being such a martyr? She just needed to change her perspective; to do something worthwhile; to seek an escape from the mundane. That's why this Sunday she's going to the Nicollet Island Pavillion, where the Parisian neighborhood of Monmartre will be reborn to benefit the Starry Night Collective, a nonprofit organization that offers students with emotional and behavioral disabilities the opportunity to learn and create art and music, and to express themselves in unique and healthy ways.

At 8:00 p.m. on Sunday (and for an admission price of $20), the Minneapolis-turned-Paris neighborhood will feature $2 glasses of wine, a silent auction, food, and entertainment--including dancing by Lili's Burlesque and loads of French-inspired performances, from follies to vaudeville.

Not only will it be for a good cause, but it's Monmartre. Unlike her mountain, it's a place that, you know, gets her.

Starry Night Collective: http://www.starrynightcollective.org/

Everybody must get honed

2007-06-21T11:56:00.000-06:00

If you live in L.A., through the basic laws of mathematics you know at least 83 actors. If you're from New England, it's the fishermen and their boats you know. If you grew up in the deserts of the southwest, you've probably met a dozen singing cacti and their ukulele partners, but that was due to the oppressive heat, right? But in the Twin Cities, everyone knows a writer. That's because here, we're creators. We're defined by our need to define.

As local writer John D. Bessler explains in his most recent and wonderful book, Writing for Life: The Craft of Writing for Everyday Living, writing is the source of innovation and social change. Of course as Twin Citizens, we're skilled at creating change and life even when subzero temperatures turn our world into one of Saturn's distant rings and everyone becomes all beefy and heart-heavy and mercurial. And Bessler's book is for all of us: those who long to be writers, and those who long to create, think, and become more engaged with their world, even if it is Saturn-like.

Bessler is an attorney, professor, and author of three books on capital punishment. In his inspiring and passionate book on writing, Bessler tackles the often intimidating subject like a true scholar and expert. (You should check out his endless lists of notes!) He researches and analyzes writing like an astute lawyer, citing thousands of experts--from neurologist Alice Flaherty and Columbian writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez to scientist Steven Quartz and archaeologist Deborah Darnell and her study of ancient phonetics. The wonderful quotes he's gathered (from Plato to Kafka) could very well be a book on their own.

Think of the book as a more intellectual Bird by Bird. A writing bible that's inspirational, honest, and beginner-friendly, as well as chock-full of useful info that even the most erudite bookworm in your life is sure to embrace.

John D. Bessler, Writing for Life: The Craft of Writing for Everyday Living; $24.95: http://pointclinic.myshopify.com/products/writing-for-life

A great new novel that works overtime

2007-06-20T06:31:00.000-06:00

We know many of our faithful readers get their daily pinch some time in the middle of the day while they're taking five personal minutes at their desks somewhere in the Warehouse district. If you find yourself happysad crazyserene within the cubicle farm of the modern-day office, may we suggest a wonderful book for your summer reading?

Not like you want to bring the office to the beach; it's a truism that you don't want your movies, art, and books to look too much like real life--real life is half boring and half maddening. But Joshua Ferris' first novel, And Then We Came to the End, is what Office Space would have been like if John Cheever had written it.

It's a breezy, readable, and highly humane novel with some ingenious literary devices built into it. Hard to believe a story about office life in an advertising agency written almost entirely in the second-person plural can be this compelling, but it really is. Now get back to work!

Then We Came to the End, by Joshua Ferris, http://www.hachettebookgroupusa.com/features/twctte/twctte_022307/index.html

Like NASCAR without the fumes and the noise

2007-06-19T06:43:00.000-06:00

One of our favorite summer rites commences tomorrow: the Nature Valley Grand Prix. It's a five-day bike festival featuring pro bike racing on the streets of downtown Minneapolis and St. Paul. (There are also stages in Stillwater, Mankato, and Cannon Falls).

Tomorrow's opening stage is a newly added criterium in the Capitol City. Criterium racing is fan friendly, because it's conducted in a small circular course. That means rather than just passing you by in a single flurry of particolored lycra, the racers keep coming back, for more than an hour.

The most important implication being that you can find a comfortable watering hole to sit at and drink a nice glass of wine or a cold mug of beer, and enjoy the festivities of a fine summer evening. For Minneapolis's Friday night hoopla--the peak of the excitement--we highly recommend a curbside position like Brit's Pub or The Local, where you could literally pass a beer over the barriers to the peloton (but you might lose your arm).

Great River Energy Bicycle Festival/Nature Valley Grand Prix, http://www.minnbikefestival.com/

The transmigration of souls

2007-06-18T07:05:00.000-06:00

When or if the wind ever dies down, it would be delightful to haul the canoe down off its pegs in the garage, and head over to Lake of the Isles. Calhoun and Harriet are alright, but canoes are made for the glassy passage to Cedar Lake and on over to Brownie. Still, those open crossings can be brutal in a heavy press of wind.

If you're in the market for a canoe, your market is shrinking in at least one way: Aluminum canoes may soon be extinct. Alumacraft has discontinued canoe building, and Grumman may soon follow suit. The reason? The price of aluminum has gone sky-high in recent years. More important, plastic and fiberglass canoes have flooded the market.

Much as we like our old Grumman, we recently paddled a kevlar canoe from Souris River Canoes, and found it to be superior in almost every way. The webbed fabric seats were easy on the butt, you can see through the translucent hull to watch the water rippling by, and best of all, the thing is 50 percent quieter than a metal-bodied craft.

It became clear that silence is one of the things we like best about this sort of transportation for the spirit.

Souris River Canoes, http://www.sourisriver.com/. Available in Minnesota at Red Rock Wilderness Store in--where else?--Ely, Minnesota. Red Rock Wilderness Store, http://www.redrockstore.com/

Bird by bird

2007-06-15T09:27:00.000-06:00

It's not often we find ourselves overwhelmed with the generosity of strangers. Then again, it's not often we find ourselves coated in rotted leaves and inside a storm sewer with baby ducks.

But this week, birds with broken wings and lost newborn Mallards were this giant, universal force that connected entire Minneapolis neighborhoods, cultures, and generations. Yes, those little mythological winged creatures that live in our skyscraper mountains and hop along our concrete prairies and asphalt rivers brought out young people, old people, Somali and Hispanic immigrants, and what we believe was a 1200-year-old wizard who held baby carrots in his pocket and magic in his long, white beard.

In fact, in two short days, people who didn't speak the same language randomly came together to enter storm sewers, or to scoop up a pigeon (like, they put flying rats in their hands!) that suffered from a broken wing and some serious deliriousness. And there they'd wait together, the wizard puffing on his pipe, until they could be certain that the birds were freed from what was sure to be their grave. What, you say? Ducklings that fell through a grate, one-by-one, like video game characters, and an out-of-its gourd pigeon brought together at least 30 people united in the same cause? Yes! It's true! And folks (and dear fowl!), does it get any better than that?

Sure, there are a handful of wonderful things happening around town this weekend (tonight's show at the Turf, and the Stone Arch festival come to mind), but we couldn't help but be all giddy about the very place where we live and the lovely people, and our feathered friends, who live there with us.

Save the birds: http://www.twincities.com/ci_6143587?source=rss

A million miles away

2007-06-14T11:37:00.000-06:00

Their love of music was just the first of many threads that would bind them together forever. He'd make her mix tapes, because this was a lifetime ago (like, a decade!), and because he was the king of meticulous, hand-crafted affection. She'd pore over each one like it was both a puzzle and a secret treasure. His penmanship, his mistakes, the song choices, the song sequence: She'd try to decipher meaning out of everything. And sometimes she'd even make it up: "This one means he could LOVE me!"

Whatever the secret code was, the one band that appeared multiple times was Jawbox, the D.C. post-punk band they both loved. How weird then, that in a city far away from D.C. and from where she received those first tapes loaded with noise and hope, both of them would meet former Jawbox drummer and poet Zach Barocas, the dude responsible for what they loved so much about the band they almost ashamedly obsessed over, kind of in the way some lesser nerds cling to ideas or beliefs or addictions (healthy ones, of course).

She still has those mix tapes, which is only one of the many reasons she's looking forward to checking out Barocas with his new Minneapolis-based band, the Million, this Friday night at the Turf Club, where they're opening for the equally fabulous Story of the Sea. The other reason is that she was lucky enough to catch the band (also featuring Joel Wickard, David Jass, and Dan West) in a preview show before, and it made her feel 10 years younger: full of promise, faith, and butterflies.

The Million: http://themillionmusic.com/

The mother load

2007-06-13T10:46:00.000-06:00

There are few domestic duties that pain us more than doing laundry. (And we don't even use rocks!) For some people, it's a ritual that soothes the over-active mind: the whirr of the washing machine; the nimble arms in wing-like conductor poses with every fold of a towel or freebie T-shirt; the storing away of the fresh goods in a safe place, just like the past.

For us, we'd rather be tearing into a thorny artichoke with a sore mouth while simultaneously realizing the nightmarish horror of being caught stark naked in public. (See! It's because we couldn't find a gosh darn clean thing to wear!) That's why, on those many days when the duty has become too overwhelming, we find ourselves with a pot o' gold (and bags of laundry that weigh nearly as much) at Rainbow Laundromat in Uptown.

For only $1.00 a pound, the friendly folks at Rainbow will do the washing and folding for you. And for only $1.25 a pound, they will pick it up at your place and drop off the next day, ready to wear. We recently dropped off a whole winter and spring's worth of stray items at Rainbow, and in less than 24 hours we had them back, professionally folded, and ready to be stored away like last year's Christmastime meltdown. Yes, for just 30 bucks, we now have an entire weekend to enjoy indulging in other life-changing activities, like properly eating artichokes for the surprise dinosaur-like middle, and prancing around naked--or wearing our clean clothes--whenever we please.

Rainbow Laundromat: 2540 Hennepin Ave.; 612.377.3365

Take a load (slightly) off

2007-06-12T06:48:00.000-06:00

It's getting to be that season where you just want to sit down and take it all in. Stop doing and start being. In other words, it's getting damned hot outside. Yesterday, we were stuck at hyperborean speed, even though the heat and humidity called for a more equatorial gearing. It just about killed us.

Short of drinking mint juleps on the screen poch, how can we northerners act more like our southerner cousins, without losing our self-righteous abolitionist identity? Why, by hitting the lakes with a cooler and a lawnchair. But if it's just too hot to lug lawn furniture, we've found that the simplest camp chairs work beautifully--you know, the Crazy Creek chair that looks like some sort of lumbar truss, which is what it is, in fact.

Buy one to keep in the trunk of your car or the back of your bike trailer, and you'll never want for humankind's simplest support. People say that what separates humans from most other animals is our ability to speak, or our large brains, or our opposable thumbs. No, it's that we're much more comfortable if we're sitting in a chair.

Crazy Creek Chairs, available at Midwest Mountaineering for around $50-75, depending on the model, http://www.midwestmtn.com/

Summer afternoon three-way

2007-06-11T06:37:00.000-06:00

We've happily enjoyed the gluten-free thing for the past couple of months, feeling almost entirely gas-free and lightfooted. But now that summer is here... well, there is simply no substitute for an ice cold beer on a shady patio. If it's just for yourself, you buy "lawnmowing beer," cheap American lager in a can. If it's for friends and one of those endless summer hangouts until after sundown, you treat them right with microbrews and European oddities. (Stay away from the gluten-free beers. Noble idea, but roughly the equivalent of a Not-Dog on the grill.)

This past weekend, we scored a trifecta of great local beers that hit the summer spot like no other beers: Schell's Sommerfest, Summit's Scandia--and breaking the alliterative tie--Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat.

All three just taste like uncapped sunshine, but if we could only have one bottle and somehow keep it cold for those magic hours from three to eight, it would be the last. We're not big fans of the vast array of Leinie's flavored beers, but Sunset Wheat has an unusual and spicy bite of cardamom or something, which beautifully compliments the bubblegummy flavor of a good wheat beer.

If you want to get a taste of heaven right at the gates of paradise, the Leinie Lodge over in Chippewa Falls is open this Saturday for the 4th Annual Leinie Lodge Family Reunion. (Hint: You're an honorary member of family if you care enough to travel to the brewery.)

Leinenkugle's Family Reunion, http://www.leinenkugel.com/reunion_sked.html

Prairie doping. It's legal!

2007-06-07T08:49:00.000-06:00

She needed permanent healing. The kind that didn't come in bottles--be it prescription or Sailor Jack. No, she needed time-honored tonics and cures for her ancient wounds. She needed something friendly and pure, a stash of goods that might change her world, or at least thwart off that persistent summer headache and awkward cold that threatened to hang out as if she were some sort of pushover host. Jerks.

So she registered for this evening's class o' healing at Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden in South Minneapolis. There, in a class led by herbalist Cynthia Thomas, she can learn all about medicines of the spring prairie. She'll learn how to spot the natural and native goodies, and how to use them for maximum mending. And though she can't snag them from their sanctuary at Eloise, the $12 class (held from 6:00 till 7:30 pm) will teach her all she needs to become a hunter and gatherer of earthly healing.

Plus, now is one of the best times to hang out at Eloise, the largest wildflower park in the whole country. Not only are irises and lilies in full bloom and lovely, but the park celebrates its 100th birthday this year, and it serves as a resting place for thousands of birds. Huh. She feels better already.

Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden: http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=4&parkid=340

Feels like the first time

2007-06-06T12:13:00.000-06:00

Sometimes going backwards can cause serious crashes. You look back too long and hard and you're likely to get blindsided by past transgressions. Even worse, anything "retro" can sometimes feel about as real as a cage drawn by a white-gloved mime. (Haven't I been in here before? And wasn't it as lame then? Is this "retro bleak"? Why is it so empty in here?) And sometimes it can feel so gosh darn good, a spunky sex-strut full of real-life anticipation. Like every summer. Time reborn. Teeth-gnashing. And fantastic.

That's how we feel about the new single from Minneapolis-based Moon Maan. "Be Good to Me" is bluesy, sexy, raw, explosive, and retro in all the best ways. The song is featured on the band's self-titled debut, which was released yesterday on local label Catlick Records, and we can't get enough of it. Led by guitarist, vocalist, and theremin artist Rick McCollum (former guitarist of the much-loved Afghan Whigs) Moon Maan will celebrate their release at the Triple Rock on June 22.

Until then, though, you can relive every summer loaded with potential--when blown-out stereos, breaking bottles, and secret-stripper-dancing in front of mom's full-length mirror were what it meant to be young--by checking out the band's debut and video for "Be Good to Me" on their web site. Equal parts Afghan Whigs, Thin Lizzy, and Led Zeppelin, the song has found its way into a permanent repeat loop around these parts. And no matter how many times we travel back there, it feels like we're doing it for the first time over and over again.

Catlick Records: http://catlickrecords.com/
Moon Maan web site: http://www.moonmaan.com/
"Be Good to Me" video: http://www.moonmaan.com/video

Minnesota wine? Minnesota wine!

2007-06-05T07:34:00.000-06:00

You've heard for years about the gimmicky little vineyard down in Hastings that bottles funny little Minnesota vintages. "Our grapes can suffer," says the label on every bottle of Alexis Bailly wines, ha ha ha.

So, being a wine drinker who enjoys a good glass of Spanish Rioja or perhaps a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, you might be forgiven for dismissing Alexis Bailly out of hand. We don't grow olives or oranges in Minnesota, why the hell try to grow grapes?

You, my friend, would be missing out on some delightful and innovative wines. Last weekend and next, the vineyard is hosting an open house: For $7.50, you get to taste all nine wines-- from the juicy table white to the subtle and rarified ice wine; from a buxom country red to the elite Voyageur. Our favorite turned out to be the Seyval Blanc, a citrusy and dry white with grassy undertones that compares favorably to some of the best Sauvignon Blancs from California and Down Under. After you've tasted all the offerings, you can go down to the casking room and buy a bottle of your faves.

What a delightful way to spend a Sunday afternoon: Bring a picnic, buy a bottle of wine, and hang out in the vineyard with its sculpture garden, natural prairie, and its bocce ball courses that are bedded with real sea shells.

Alexis Bailly Vineyard, http://www.abvwines.com/

The original all terrain vehicle

2007-06-04T06:03:00.000-06:00

There were no symptoms, so they brought the disease to her.

The daughter had reached the age of 12 without feeling one way or the other about horses. So one sunny Saturday, they drove out to River Falls to a riding stable, put her on a tall skittish appaloosa, and the rest was history. Her notebooks quickly proliferated with sketches of horse heads , the book shelf strained under the weight of Black Beauty and National Velvet knockoffs, and she started a whisper campaign to move the family to Montana.

Kinni Valley stables, run by the Lowe family of River Falls, has been a community landmark for almost 40 years, thriving on the natural affection between girl and horse. The modest tin sheds and crushed gravel driveway don't give up much of the story; you have to put $23 down for an hour long ride through rolling riverbottoms. And if you're lucky, afterward you can pull up a stump with Tom Lowe, the original proprietor, and get your ear talked off about horses, stirrups, the National Reining Horse Association, and the River Falls Chamber of Commerce.

Kinni Valley Stables, (715) 426-1321, http://www.pressenter.com/~kvriding/

Tilapia of luxury

2007-06-01T10:48:00.000-06:00

The Grand Rounds Scenic Byway takes bike riders, runners, walkers, and picnic-seekers on the best tour of the city. From the chain of lakes to the Mississippi and around Theodore Wirth, one can view the skyline--which, from these parts, glistens like it's made of copper and pewter and magic mirrors--under a canopy of Weeping Willows.

Near the end, right at Minnehaha Falls, is your reward, a little pot of gold at the end of the riding rainbow. Yep, we're talking about Sea Salt, the lovely seafood restaurant in the Minnehaha Park pavilion.

The grilled tilapia tacos are the best in town, decorated with spicy salsa and fresh cilantro. Of course the catfish po'boy, etouffee, soft-shell crab, and fish basket are things of beauty, too, just like the Grand Rounds that brought us there in the first place. When you arrive at your reward, the outdoor tables are waiting for you, wine and beer are served, and the Falls whisper mantras ("ohm," if you want) that sound like truth. Does summer in the Cities get any better than this?

Sea Salt Eatery, 4825 Minnehaha Ave.; 612.721.8990 http://www.seasalteatery.com/

Grand Rounds Scenic Byway: http://www.minneapolisparks.org/grandrounds/dist_M.htm

Love in a four-pack

2007-05-31T10:44:00.000-06:00

The Southside Farm Store on 38th Street has always been the best place in town for pet food, pet accessories, and general pet-loving. The tiny aisles are so jam-packed with goodies (vitamins, bones, supplements!) that it feels like your sweet companion curled up on the couch at home has anointed you the scavenger/hunter-gatherer.

And, frankly, dear Fido, we like it that way, because cooing at the pair of mourning doves by the counter where the protective and bony German Shepherd hangs his leash has become part of a weekly ritual.

As an added bonus, this old-school pet store also serves as one of the best garden shops in town. On a recent trip there we discovered plethora of veggies, herbs, and spices for rock-bottom prices. That's right, a plethora!

For merely $1.49 you can snag a healthy stalk of Valencia, chocolate beauty, or cubanelle peppers, among a handful of other kinds. And a four-pack of purple-beauty peppers is only $2.29, the same price you'll pay for a four-pack of lovely and healthy coleus or bright, blooming petunias the size of a tennis ball.

The shop carries earthworm castings, organic compost, and corn gluten for starting your garden. And basil lovers are treated like queens here. Southside grows nearly every kind on the basil-covered planet: lemon basil, spicy globe basil, black opal basil. Oh, and did we mention the six kinds of squash? Now even in the spice jungle you can feel like the hunter-gatherer Fido thinks you deserve to be.

Southside Farm Store: 1534 E. 38th Street, Minneapolis; 612.721.2761

The man behind the lens

2007-05-30T11:00:00.000-06:00

Minnesota has had more than its fair share of great nature photographers. Craig Blacklock and Jim Brandenburg are household names not just in the region but nationally. Unfortunately, the household names tend to hog the limelight, and keep the next generation hiding in the shadows.

Per Breiehagen is one such photographer. While he's most recently been working the commercial side of the business, you'll frequently see his photos in some of the nation's finest outdoors magazines, like Outside magazine, Men's Journal, and National Geographic Explorer.

In fact, after his apprenticeship with Brandenburg, Breiehagen made his own name taking photos of another great Minnesota outdoorsman and photog: Will Steger. The younger man documented the explorer's 1996 Antarctic expedition-- you can see a poster-sized blowup of one the most famous shots hanging high on the wall of the French Meadow Bakery, in South Minneapolis.

And unlike most of his subjects and his forebears, Breiehagen makes his home here in Minneapolis, and he's a frequent denizen of the bike paths and ski trails. Just yesterday, we caught him shooting at the Mill City Museum and the Guthrie Theater with an entourage of helpers and models.

Per Breiehagen photography, http://www.perbreiehagen.com

Keep it cool

2007-05-29T05:20:00.000-06:00

Like everyone else, they've been spending weekends and vacations close to home with the kids. Gas is expensive, but plane tickets and hotels are out of reach.

Minnesota is rich with parks and campgrounds. They realize it's not exactly backpacking in Wyoming, but still. An upside to car camping has always been that they can bring plenty of good food and drink. The downside has always been that they've had trouble keeping juice boxes and string cheese cold for 72 hours.

They finally dropped the $68 on the Cadillac of ice boxes: Igloo's Maxcold 5-day cooler. The 60 quart chest is rated to keep ice intact for five days in 90-degree heat. It's ugly as hell, but it has wheels, handles, a drain spout, and a door lock. Alas, no bottle opener... but he needs that time hunting for a church key, for the beer to thaw.

You can get yours at Target, on sale now for $36, http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html?ie=UTF8&asin=B000F6WDXQ&frombrowse=1

Consume me

2007-05-24T11:13:00.000-06:00

Money was tight lately. She had just spent $50 on dinner--for herself. She wondered if her savings account was suffering from some degenerative disease. And she felt like such a gluttonous consumer lately, throwing money here, there, everywhere. She was turning over a new leaf this summer: She was going to live small; she would sell or give away all that she didn't need.

What then, was she to do with the Saks off Fifth sale going on today through Memorial Day? Everything in the store already is nearly half off--or more. And here they were, going and having a three-day major sale, where she could buy one item for regular price (which is already half-price, right?) and get another item for 50 percent off.

That's right: Anything in the store is 50 percent off the already clearance price when you buy one item at regular clearance price. Handbags. Shoes. Dresses. Hats. Belts. Headbands. All of it.

So like any good girl with a dwindling account and a desire to spend small and live big, she purchased a pair of Department of Peace pants at half-off (20 bucks!) because she bought a long-overdue wedding gift on the cheap. And for once, she was no longer consumed with guilt. Just the pleasure of doing a job well done.

Saks Off Fifth, 655 Nicollet Mall; 612.222.7200 http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/Entry.jsp

Oh, sweet frickles!

2007-05-23T09:39:00.000-06:00

The Town Talk Diner is, appropriately, the talk of the town. Critics love it. Families flock to it. And babies, holding up a wedge of their grilled cheese like a trophy, sometimes offer to share their meal with the woman two tables over gorging on the best boozy malt on the planet, the Johnny Cold Train.

But not everyone has been so brave as to try the seemingly State Fair-esque fried pickles, aptly named "frickles." We have actually banned fried food from our diet for a variety of reasons, but we threw those rules onto Lake Street to indulge in these sweet-and-sour house-made pickled pleasures. Pickled at Town Talk and fried in a delicate tempura, they're like little golden coins dropped from a lightly fried heaven. And dipped in their homemade honey-dijon dill sauce? Lordy Gabordy. We were almost off the no-fried green-covered wagon for good.

That's the thing about these delicate pickled wafers. They don't taste heavy and fried, because they're dusted with a thin coating of sweet tempura that's almost translucent. Just look at that former cuke inside that gilded blanket! Baby is all grown up! And so delicious. Yoink!

We could gobble them up like potato chips...if we ate those kind of things, of course.

Town Talk Diner: http://towntalkdiner.com/

The second-best cheese ever

2007-05-22T07:53:00.001-06:00

Coffee, wine, and beer have all been upscaled and boutiquified, with tipplers arguing about nose and leg and finish all over our fair city. So it was only a matter of time before discriminating delis and foodies alike caught on to the new old wave: Cheese.

Fine cheese shops have proliferated around town, but we're not here to sell you on any of those. We're here today to say that we have discovered a challenger to the throne of "The Best Cheese Ever," and you can go forth and find it wherever you buy fine cheese.

The original title holder is, of course, Parmigiano Reggiano--the real stuff, not the cheap new-world knockoffs that you see coming from everywhere between Argentina and Wisconsin. True parm is a sublime and toothsome experience-- a nutty, buttery, salty kind of flavor that fills your entire mouth. It tastes great off the cutting board, or grated on pasta with butter, or on crackers; accept no substitute.

But today let it be known that aged Gouda is about as close as you'll ever get to replicating that experience. Aged Gouda--which bears no taste relationship to its youth--should be at least two years old, and have a deep amber color. It'll taste like butterscotch and pecans on the tongue, with a slightly sweet perfume. (This nose is the main difference with parm; don't grate this stuff on pasta, but it's good over potatoes.)

We've found it at Lund's and France 44, but we find it most dependably at Surdyk's in Northeast.

Surdyk's Cheese Shop, http://www.surdyks.com/

The new Old Man is a young girl

2007-05-21T10:00:00.000-06:00

At the end of St. Paul's High Bridge, Smith avenue just continues to climb and climb. If you're on foot or on a bike, it's quite a grind to the intersection of Smith Avenue and Anapolis St. (Highway 13), where you've finally conquered the hill and entered West St. Paul, with its mix of middle-class homes and 19th century brownstones.

But once you get to the crest, you are welcomed by Old Man River Cafe, a delightful hangout with solar-roasted coffee, sandwiches, and even beer. But hold on a second: It's gone. Old Man River cafe is dead.

Long live Cafe Juliahna! Proprieter Sherry Asplund bought the joint this winter and renamed it after her daughter. A veteran of the Twin Cities organic coop scene, Asplund slightly tweaks the menu, simplifying and greening the offerings with sandwiches, pies, scones, and the like. Same great solar-roasted coffee, same comfortable digs, liquor license on the way.

We'll miss the Mark Twain/historic rivertown theme--it was a good one, and oddly rare in our most antique city, but so far the tradeoff is more like a spring freshening than a wholesale repositioning.

Cafe Juliahna, http://www.cafejuliahna.com, 879 Smith Ave, West St Paul, MN, 651.450.7070

Call it Art-a-Twirl

2007-05-18T10:51:00.000-06:00

It's Art-a-Whirl weekend, and we can't say enough about all the great gallery events and Club 331 shows (JoAnna James! Martin Devaney!) going down in Northeast.

But on Saturday and Sunday evening, as a delightful break from the art-hopping (and the tornado of a wine hangover that's likely to ensue), art fans, jazz and dance lovers, and friends of the heart, body, and soul can head down south where the honeysuckle sings to the Clara Barton School, at 4237 Colfax Avenue South in Minneapolis. Because just 60 or so blocks away from the event of the weekend is this other twirling world, a dancing planet featuring a lovely intergenerational group (from ages 6 to 87) of dancing souls.

"Body and Soul II" is an evening of dance and jazz music, featuring pianist Peter Schimke and saxophone great Irv Williams (Ella Fitzgerald, Billy Eckstine). The Kairos Dance Theatre, who debuted a few pieces from this weekend's show at the East Harlem Nursing Home in November, will be showcasing their soulful and moving movements that include the art of classically trained dancers and dancers in walkers.

It's about engaging elders in the arts," says Kairos dancer Elinor Genne-Anderson, daughter of Kairos artistic director Maria Genne. "Sophie is our youngest, and she's six. And she hangs out with Moses, and he's 83. We hear all this talk about condos and communities. But this is actually community happening."

Genne-Anderson and company will be performing with the Irv Williams Quartet at the Clara Barton School on Saturday and Sunday at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are on a sliding fee, from $10 to $24.

Kairos Dance Theatre: http://kairosdance.org/

Irv Williams Quartet: http://www.irvwilliams.com/history/

The birds, the bees, and the grasshoppers, too

2007-05-17T11:30:00.000-06:00

This weekend will be loaded with signs of renewal. The farmers' markets are opening all over town. (Midtown is our favorite place for beautiful produce and people.) The blooming dwarf Korean lilacs are turning city yards into sweet-smelling perfume castles. And for our money, there's never a better time to enliven and pamper your bad prince/princess self than when the birds and the bees are professing their love all around you.

This Sunday from 4:00 till 5:30 p.m. at the Grasshopper Yoga Studio (810 West 31st Street) in Minneapolis, you can partake in Yoga Nidra session, where payment is by donation and no registration is necessary. Yoga Nidra is a state of yogic deep sleep where the mind and body are alert and awake but free of emotional and physical stress.

Best of all, the practice focuses on alleviating those negative and repetitive thought patterns we've all been taught to drop like a heavy sack of old shoes but somehow cling to like it's a shredded and stink ol' baby blanket. (Seriously, have you ever tried using a blanket made of chunky grunge boots and Converse as comfort? Nightmarish, we tell ya. And those ugly shoes! Egad!)

That's why we're going to kick off the covers, smell the lilacs, wave "hello" to the birds and the smiles at the farmers' market, and head over to Grasshopper Yoga Studio on Sunday for Yoga Nidra. Pronto. Because there's nothing worse than old bad habits made of shoes we never should have worn in the first place.

Grasshopper Yoga Studio: http://grasshopperyogastudio.com/index.shtml

Circle of Trust

2007-05-16T14:12:00.000-06:00

For months now, we've been rattling on about bikes and bike culture here in the Twin Cities. We never quite knew if it was just because we were watching the world from our own little bicycle perch, but it sure seemed like lots more Twin Citizens were hitting the bike trails to train or play or go to work.

Now we have proof that cycling is the new punk rock: Mpls Bike Love is a relatively new online forum that celebrates all things two-wheeled in our fair cities, and it's quickly bridging up to MNSpeak as the area's most active and engaging online community blog.

Even if you're not into fixies and singlespeeds and alleycats, MBL is a good anthropological snapshot of what 20- and 30-something Twin Citizens are up to these days; it's a great place to lurk if you want to watch an honest-to-god, old-fashioned subculture as it emerges and matures.

Plus, they've got a supercool logo that pays homage to our most garish civic symbol, Nicollet Island's Grain Belt billboard. Watch for this symbol in the spokes of bikes around town, and then go online and compliment that cutie on her pink ten-speed, or that hunkahunka on his Italian fixie.

Don't tell them we sent you, though. We don't rate in these rarified circles.

Mpls Bike Love, http://www.mplsbikelove.com

Advertising—Today's Sponsor

2007-05-16T00:20:00.000-06:00

City of Lakes Waldorf School invites you to explore the wonders of learning with us. We believe that education is an art and a science. We offer a full program for children, preschool through 8th grade. Located in the heart of Minneapolis in a light-filled historic building, City of Lakes Waldorf School is recognized for a well-structured curriculum, dedicated and experienced faculty, and an involved parent community.

To find out more, click on the image above, or go to http://www.clws.org

The best designed coffee house in the city?

2007-05-15T08:06:00.000-06:00

His commute took him past the place every day. And he'd seen ads for it in all the local rags. He assumed it was a total art-school joint, since it was just a street scene away from MCAD.

One dismal day he felt desperate for a hot cup of coffee and a quiet corner. He locked the bike out front amongst the klunkers and the fixies and the vintage Schwinns, and furtively entered.

The place was all bar and bin and boilers. Or so it seemed. But then he realized the ingeniousness of the design: Why put tables and chairs and people in the middle of the room, when they want to be in corners and nooks and at the windows? Indeed, there was not a bad seat in the house. Sofas for the social idlers, standups for the harried and lonely, sit-downs for the readers and the chess players, gracious French doors opening out onto a quiet side street of brownstones. And on the one continuous interior wall, a delightfully complex ink-on-paper maze for the eye.

Spyhouse Coffee Shop, 2451 Nicollet Ave, Minneapolis
Photo (cc) by Bill Snyder

Animal House & Grounds

2007-05-14T07:43:00.000-06:00

The Minnesota Zoo has been hosting a summer concert series for years now, and this might be the year we jump onto the wagon, because the schedule is packed with great acts. (That, or we're just getting hipper as we grow older.)

The sorta lame casino-curiosity acts are there too-- Ziggy Marley opens the series June 13, Indigo Girls trot out their one hit June 24-- but there are some supercalifragilistic acts coming too. Femi Kuti comes in August, Son Volt will be here in July, Guster plays a Sunday-Monday double header; and perhaps best of all, Duluth's own Trampled By Turtles gigs at the end of June.

Beginning this Friday you can buy individual tickets to shows, or for a special "SRO Pass," you can see any 10 shows for $150.

Buy early, and spend all that down time thinking about whether you'd rather be trampled by turtles, or by tortoises.

Subway Music in the Zoo series, http://www.mnzoo.com/guests/MusicInZoo_07.asp

Check out those jugs!

2007-05-11T09:13:00.000-06:00

Years ago we became obsessed with tracking down "ephemeral films," those educational flicks from the '50s and '60s with sanctimonious voice-overs and sweet-as-a-dimple topics that covered healthy hygiene, stranger danger, hellish highways (it is like traveling with a drunk skeleton!), and weenie-roast etiquette.

So when we got word that Ephemeral Space Gallery was holding a one-night exhibit this Saturday at 1331 Tyler Street Northeast, featuring the good-ol'-time music of the Como Avenue Jug Band, our ephemeral-obsession rattle started shaking again. But mostly we got all cranked up about checking out Ephemeral Space's 20-plus artists and the always-great Como Avenue Jug Band. (Old-school! New-school! Spoons! Laughter! A possible nod to "Axel F" and other awesome things!)

Ephemeral Space has put on a number of great one-night-only art shows around town, including the Dog and Pony show. And Saturday's show promises to be even better. It's juried by Michael Gaughan (Ice-Rod, Brother and Sister), Weisman Art Museum associate curator Diane Mullin, and local photographer Angela Strassheim, whose eerie and magical images from her "Left Behind" series appeared in last year's Whitney Biennial.

And as pop-up stores and nightclubs became all the rage across the pond, in our fair cities it's all about the sweet little pop-up art spot, where more than 20 artists and folks playing giant glass jars can create a flash of inspiration.

Ephemeral Space: www.myspace.com/ephemeralspace
Como Avenue Jug Band: www.myspace.com/comoavenuejugband

Life's a mother

2007-05-10T10:19:00.000-06:00

Dear Mom,

I want to take you somewhere special on Sunday. This isn't to apologize for sounding exasperated the other day when you prattled on about the two burly dudes refinishing great-grandma's buffet or why mushroom and olive is your favorite Amy's frozen pizza. I love hearing your stories. I do.

This is something I want to give to you because I know how much you love poetry and art and music. How much you love to celebrate motherhood and womanhood, and how you wear them so proudly and perfectly.

This is an invitation to you, sweet Mom, to come along with me to the Lake Harriet Bandshell on Sunday at 2:00 p.m., where MOMbo's Nanci Oleson will host the non-profit organization's second annual mother's day celebration.

The group, which produces podcasts and shows for public radio about motherhood, will put on an hour-long show featuring performances from the Brass Messengers, the Twin Cities Women's Choir, and the Heart of the Beast Puppet Theater. And Twin Cities actors will read Julia Ward Howe's 1870 "Mother's Day Proclamation for Peace," an anti-war/pro-peace poem, which I've excerpted here, that's as relevant today as the sun and the stars and the moon and everything in between:

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
whether your baptism be that of water or tears!
Say firmly:
"We will not have questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not come home to us reeking with carnage,
for caresses and applause...

MOMbo: http://www.mombo.org/

Ten seconds to paradise

2007-05-09T10:15:00.000-06:00

Chronicling moments with his clunky video camera seemed so pre-Cell-Era. Like looking at Protozoa through a plastic magnifying glass. Moments were smaller now. And his cell-phone camera accommodated them just so. They were little blips. Flashes even.

Besides, his video camera still held the fingerprints of the one who left him. On it was the residue from graduation, Paris, their first Christmas together. The camera still sleeps in a drawer along with the videos containing all the pieces of life it captured. Sayonara, past life!

He had his cell camera now, and on it were 22 moments--tiny movies--of life as he knew it now. They were all unedited. Real. Tiny. And raw. There was the little passing-moment film he made of, well, passing moments--the shissssh...husssh...of traveling, by car, beneath a series of bridges in a rainstorm. This one, he thought, is award-winning.

So he entered it in Soap Factory's Ten Second Film Festival, which takes place right after St. Anthony Main's fabulous fireworks display on July 4th. Mini-movie-makers can enter up to six films--all ten-seconds or less, and all made using anything but a video camera. Deadline for submissions is Saturday, June 23.

If he wins, he'll get a hamburger from Grumpy's. He's a vegetarian. But it's okay, because he'll also win a trophy and sash, which he will parade around proudly under the July stars and firework tails.

Ten Second Film Fest, rules and deadlines: http://tensecondfilmfest.org/

The proper tack is no gybe

2007-05-08T06:32:00.000-06:00

Last weekend, the sailboats began to arrive on Lakes Harriet, Calhoun, and Nokomis. They got a rude christening, given the 30 mph winds that greeted them. So while pathwalkers on Saturday might have envied the buoy holders, they were relieved on Sunday and Monday when they saw the swamped and overturned results of high winds plus badly tied knots.

Pathwalker, you too can learn how to tie a proper bowline, and what to do once you've untied it from the buoy... without taking the dive into boat ownership. This year, the Minneapolis Park and Rec Board offers adult and youth sailing classes through August. All courses will be taught at Lake Harriet, and you can check class availability and signup right now, online.

Tuition is $90 for city residents, $110 for non-residents.

MPRB Sailing Lessons, http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=612

Central Daylight Jazz Savings Time

2007-05-07T14:36:00.000-06:00

Most folks know the Bad Plus as that one wacky jazz trio that plays a cover of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit." True enough. That was the Minneapolis band's first cover, and it launched them instantly into the international limelight.

But what kept them there was their innovative new approach to jazz as credentialed outsiders. The jazz world being what it is--increasingly like the classical scene, a living museum of dusty old standards where the one thing that cannot be tolerated is any attempt to set the clock ahead--they were reviled there, but embraced by the same sort of folks ten years ago who went bananas for Medeski Martin and Wood. Jazz futurists steeped in rock 'n' roll.

Tomorrow, Twin Citizens Dave King, Reid Anderson, and Ethan Iverson release their fourth studio album. Word is that this recording, called "Prog," is truer to the band's live sound--not so lo-fi or minimalist. The usual repertoire of cover tunes is here, too. We're especially interested in Bowie's "Life on Mars" and Rush's "Tom Sawyer," and there are two others that you'll have to track down yourself. Consider it delayed gratification.

The Bad Plus, http://www.thebadplus.com/

The grocery store of the future. Your future.

2007-05-04T14:17:00.000-06:00

The new downtown (nordeast) Lunds is open, has been for some time. It was intended to fill the need for some sort of grocery store for all the wealthy empty-nesters who are allegedly buying the lofts and condos springing up like weeds along the Mississippi corridor.

We don't normally get too excited about conventional grocery store chains around here -- organic produce, hello?!-- but this Lund's is exceptional in one respect: It's a cutting-edge hybrid of a restaurant and a grocer.

On the south side of the store, there are a half dozen deli cases and steam tables that stock everything a harried workerbee at lunch could ever want, from pineapple chunks, artisanal cheeses, and sandwiches to soups and salad bars. There are even take-and-bake lasagnas and TV dinners (handmade in Lunds/Byerly's kitchens, pretty yummy). But our favorite is the steam table dedicated entirely to "Comfort Food," featuring mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, ribs, corn dogs, tortellini, and a dozen other American classics. This is all ingeniously offered under one, easy-to-remember, slightly horrifying pricing structure: $7 per pound.

Lunds and Byerly's, http://www.lundsandbyerlys.com, 25 University Ave. SE, Minneapolis

YouTube doesn't bring me flowers

2007-05-03T09:19:00.000-06:00

She spent her weekend days making movies. The short films were miniature meditations on hyper-awareness and unconsciousness; brief dissertations on experience and inertia. So darn profound, she thought. She so was going to put these beautiful babies on YouTube, sit back, and wait for the accolades.

She got her first response just moments after posting her movie. "Ha ha! You suck, loser! I H8 this! I just wasted four minutes of my life, you idiot!" And then two seconds later, she read this comment: "This is sooooo lame! Totally sux! Not even funny! DIAF!" Huh. Not quite the giddy response she was hoping for. Darn kids. Totally not LOL.

So when she heard about the upcoming "No Mittens Film Festival" at Rosalux Gallery, she knew she'd found a possible home for her films about dueling dualities--hot suns and honeysuckle, bitter nights and winter blankets--and everything in between. The Minneapolis art gallery recently put out an open call for video shorts featuring themes of winter and sleep. All entries must be postmarked by May 30th; the festival is July 27th.

Finally, she thought, someone who can't simply respond to her beddy-bye/wide-eyed pieces in instant text speak. So she carefully packed her precious-little-baby videos in envelopes, addressed them to the Rosalux Gallery on Washington, and scribbled a quick note on the outside of the package: "I hope it's not too L8! Please pick me! Awes! LOL!"

Rosalux Gallery, "No Mittens Film Festival": http://rosaluxgallery.com/nomittens/index.html

It ain't easy being green

2007-05-02T12:15:00.000-06:00

Today has been full of carbon-footprint reminders. MPR's "Morning Edition" featured the hot topic. The boulevards throughout the Cities finally are turning a delicious lime green. And the cherry blossoms are whispering fragrant secrets about the future and all that we can't leave behind.

Perhaps it was from some self-help book hidden under our pillow that we gleaned this information. (We like to think of the pillow process as therapeutic diffusion, or entropy, or osmosis, or something equally super-scientific.) But we also read/diffused something about May 2 being the big day to finally show the universe your very best self. (We're trying, you berating self-help book! We're trying!)

Personally, we can't think of a better way to take that precarious first step than to plan on attending the Living Green Expo at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds this weekend. Not only will it be an educational event full of info on green living in every area--from yard and garden, transportation, recreation, food, household goods, and more--but the event also hosts an art exhibit (curated by the passionate and discerning art historian Roslye B. Ultan) and performance from one of Minneapolis' finest and soon-to-be-loved-worldwide songwriters, Chris Koza.

And, of course, there's the eco-friendly fashion show, where sweet Hemp Queen reigns.

Living Green: http://www.livinggreen.org/index.cfm
Living Green Exhibit, Saturday and Sunday; 10 a.m till 5:00 p.m.; State Fairgrounds; free

Follow your bliss, build it from scratch

2007-05-01T05:55:00.000-06:00

It's not entirely clear why, but you just don't see old-fashioned hobby shops around anymore. Probably it's the Web, but probably it's also the po-mo impulse to specialize. Instead of hobby stores today, you have model airplane shops, small electric engines shops, glass beaker shops, medium-sized styrofoam ball shops. Thirty years ago, a hobby shop contained all these things and more, and you walked inside with the pleasing sensation that, given 24 hours alone in that store, you could build just about anything your 12-year-old imagination could conjure.

If you look hard, though, you can still find one or two. On a spring errand to repair a kite for May zephyrs, we walked into the Hub Hobby Center at 64th and Penn in Richfield. While the place has been overrun by the RC/micro-gasoline engine crowd—radio-controlled airplanes, boats, and miniature 4X4 trucks have their own counter and team of experts—the Hub has also expanded their offerings in the area of raw material. We needed (and found) a whole cluster of carbon-fiber tubing, right next to the brass plates and aluminum sheets, down the aisle from rubber tires and wooden propellers.

The blue-shirted folks were gracious and helpful, the place was filled with good kid energy, and best of all the Hub is open on Sundays.

Hub Hobby Shop, http://www.hubhobby.com

Where faux and real history collide

2007-04-30T06:05:00.000-06:00

The other day, a man stood on the bike path gape-mouthed. He was looking at the ruins of Loring Cascade, a small collection of fake boulders that once formed a man-made waterfall, just off Theo Wirth Parkway at Wirth Lake. The cascade has now been overtaken by weeds, its bronze plaque long since pried off and carried away. (Photo: That's the way the Cascade looked in 1920, as snapped by Charles Hibbard. Courtesy of the MHS.)

Some of the boulders have been broken, revealing them to be huge hollow artifacts. A person in a certain frame of mind walking along the parkway for refreshment and edification might suddenly be thrown into a tailspin of existential angst, questioning whether anything is real. Perhaps it's all just one huge stage set, and everyone else is an actor with scripted lines.

This ruin--like many American ruins--was intended to ground us in a history that did not yet exist. But it exists now: Yesterday, on our stroll through Wirth, we were happy to stumble upon the 100th birthday party of the Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden--just a fake stone's throw from Wirth parkway, where our friend stood catching flies.

Theodore Wirth Park, http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=4&parkid=255

Art that moves

2007-04-27T11:09:00.000-06:00

The best art is the kind that shows up anywhere and everywhere, kind of like footprints or dandelions or trash or love or stray hairs or that one really tall and lanky dude who obviously loves him some rock and tight T-shirts. It's art as life.

Freelance curator Yuri Arajs know this, and most of the artists and curators in the Twin Cities are catching on to the idea that art can travel, stopping to be viewed in places it normally wouldn't call home: It can appear at the old Theatre Antiques building for a few days, like it did during the recent "Will Work for Food" exhibit. It can hang out in a rented-out warehouse for a week, or a in a lonely condo space that has sat hollow and owner-less since it was rehabbed back when the first leaves fell.

On Saturday, Yuri Arajs, co-founder of the now-defunct Outsiders and Others gallery, will hold a premier party for his new Placement Gallery, a traveling and ever-changing art exhibit that can pop up in not-so-familiar places. The first show appears in a giant warehouse on the second floor of 509 First Avenue Northeast.

Ironically, or not-so-ironically, titled "Paintings in Place," the show features paintings about a sense of place by Arajs and up-and-coming local artists Amy Rice, Alex Alexander, and Ben Olson. We love Rice's sweet, nostalgic, dream-inspired images the way we love sweet tea and wrap-around porches and baby birds and hatched robin's eggs. She has a knack for creating sentimentality without an ounce of mawkishness.

Placement Gallery: http://placementgallery.blogspot.com/

Wool's on parade

2007-04-26T09:03:00.000-06:00

Next door to Pinch headquarters lives a puppet maker. He makes fantastical creatures big and small. Feather boas and wool sweaters find new life in ostriches with palm-sized eyes; wood palettes are reborn as giraffe skeletons. We envy our neighbor puppet maker in ways we can't begin to count: his orange van spray-painted with medieval visions, his puppet-master hours, his collection of eyelashes as long as tassels.

Thankfully, we have a little more than a week to live like him. In the Heart of the Beast Puppet and Mask Theatre is still in the process of creating their wonderful creatures and nearly-living beings for the annual May Day Parade in Powderhorn Park, which takes place Sunday, May 6. This year's theme is "Somos Agua" (We are Water.) And Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evenings through May 3 (from 7 p.m till 9 p.m.), volunteers can work with a puppet master at the HOTB theatre to create their own magnificent beast--and they can take it home with them (to feed, if you wish) after the parade.

All you have to do tonight is show up at HOTB at 1500 East Lake Street in a smock or dad's old shirt or any other ready-to-be-dirtied item your elementary-school art teacher would approve of. Then the creating begins, and suddenly you're that guy, the neighbor who brings dreams to life, the dude who can animate lady's clothing, the guy whose art is, like, existence and stuff. And your creature--the thing you brought to life with your very own hands--gets to walk among some of the most magical beings in the universe in Minneapolis' annual parade of everything that makes it so special. The beasts, the politics, the people, the tall bikes! Oh, my!

Heart of the Beast May Day Workshops: http://www.hobt.org/mayday/part/wshops.html
Photo by Yvonne Lai

First wildflower of Spring

2007-04-25T10:29:00.000-06:00

Some say it's skunk cabbage. Some say it's false anemone. Some say it's snowdrops. We say it's hipatica, and we love hipatica best.

Whatever you think the first flower of spring is around these parts, head out to one of the region's finest wilderness tracts, Lake Maria State Park, and conduct your debate on nature's stoop. Located out West about 40 miles near Monticello, Lake Maria is -- along with Nerstrand''s Big Woods -- one of the last large stands of hardwood savanah left in Minnesota. Knobs of oak, basswood, and maple divide the sedgegrass wetlands from the blackwater lakes.

It's a great time of the year to daycamp, or try reserving one of the camper cabins: Squirrels are trashing through last year's leafy litter, and if you know where to look, you'll find delicate white, pink, and purple hipatica painted against the browns and blacks of winter's residue.

Lake Maria State Park, http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/state_parks/lake_maria/

Charlie don't surf

2007-04-24T08:28:00.000-06:00

Having lost most of the front lawn to creeping charlie last year, we are determined to fight back this year. Turns out the U. of M. Extension is one of the nation's great resources for gardening--from industrial agriculture on down to urban weed plots.

It was there that we learned the only traditional remedy against Glechoma hederacea is Borax. Furthermore, it also turns out to be a bad idea. Studies from the Extension office suggest that if Borax is effective at killing creeping charlie, it is also effective at killing grass. In other words, unless you get the dose just right, you have a better than even chance of killing the patient with the medicine.

No, this is going to be a ground war. The best weapon against creeping charlie--ground ivy, creeping jenny--is the human hand. It's actually kind of sadistic and fun to find charlie's little runners that have created a vast net across the lawn. Follow the thread, hear the little stems pop, watch the pile of glossy green leaves grow on the sidewalk. It's easy to pull up, and with regular flyovers, we're told that we'll have regained our turf by mid-July.

Enjoy the smell of creeping charlie in the morning--it's a distant relative of mint, and redolent of warm summer days, iced tea, and long rides on the lawn tractor.

U of M Extension, http://www.extension.umn.edu/

The last urban sailshop — gone fishing?

2007-04-23T08:15:00.000-06:00

In our enthusiasm for the new season of sailing on city lakes, we stopped by our favorite urban sailshop this weekend, Seven Seas at Dupont and Lake—only to learn that the shop had pulled up stakes and moved to the banks of Lake Minnetonka, out in Excelsior.

Busted and disgusted, we did the old-fashioned thing: Looked in the Yellow Pages, and discovered West Marine, a reputable chain of boating hardware shops with at least four local outlets.

A sally out to the Hopkins store near Ridgedale (we might have made it all the way to Excelsior, but the Seven Seas gang seems serious about retirement--they're closed on Sundays and Mondays) revealed a charming and knowledgable staff that quickly helped us locate a life jacket and some 1-part epoxy for bottomsides.

One skipper even sported a British accent, perhaps she'd done a tour of duty in the Big Blue Briney with the Royal Navy!

West Marine, http://www.westmarine.com, 13889 Ridgedale Dr., Hopkins, 952.545.5540

The real Prairie Home Companion

2007-04-20T05:26:00.000-06:00

Call us selfish (just don't call us shell fish!), but around here, we don't just have birthdays as much as we have entire birth weekends. So for Earth Day (this Sunday, April 21), we thought it'd only be fitting and human to extend our annual celebration of ourselves to the lovely universe that bore us.

First, we planned to begin the gratitude party by whispering affirmations and apologies to our enchanting, giant, water-filled friend: "Hey, Earth! I just love that mix of high- and low-brow art you made in my yard in the form of a scraggly rhododendron hybrid!" And also: "Yo, whatup, Earf!? Sorry I was all down on you the other week for the April snowstorm. It wasn't you I was mad at, but your behavior. And my therapist says I have to learn I cannot control how anyone behaves, you know?"

We thought about leaving the earth tiny baskets of strawberries, too, but that would totally be re-gifting. So instead we're planning on honoring sweet Ms. Universe by gathering with other lovers of the globe and two-wheels at 8:30 am on Saturday, near Lake Calhoun, to clean up the Midtown Greenway--a lovely bike path of glory that cuts through the Cities and connects everything beautiful about them, including hidden treasures like the Dirtiest and Largest Graffiti in the World. (Hint: It's near Cedar Lake.)

Then on Sunday morning we're off to Schaefer Prairie, a protected, 160-acre preserve only 45 minutes outside of the Cities. With more than 245 native plant species and wildlife and wildflowers that are continually threatened, the preserve is in need of volunteers to aid in seed collection and distribution. We're looking forward to checking out the bucolic beauty in its annual humble beginnings. And in May, we're going to return to the giant, outdoor lesson in love and nature for the rainbows of blooming wildflowers like aster, primrose, and goldenrod. Hooray for spring, and Earth Day, and every sunny day in between!

Midtown Greenway: http://www.midtowngreenway.org/index.html
Schaefer Prairie: http://www.nature.org/wherewework/northamerica/states/minnesota/preserves/art7151.html

Joanna James sneak peek

2007-04-19T11:04:00.000-06:00

Joanna James's "Disappear" might be the most heart-shattering, gorgeous, and we're-all-alone in-this-world-together song of the year. We've played the delicate tune over and over, obsessing over James's raw and personal lyrics that slant through souls like warped shadows; they've become our own lonely mantra, a private ode to poisoned hearts and don't-look-at-me-like-this shame.

When she sings, "Close your eyes, dear, I want to disappear," we're right there with her, escaping the only we we know how with the only person on the planet who seems to understand. Sounds super-sad, right? Actually, the song, about an emotional death, is deceptively life-affirming. James's sweet voice is angelic and empathetic and as honest as they come. No one's alone when there's someone as pure as James doing all that mourning and weeping for you.

Tonight at the 331 Club Martin Devaney and Eclectone Records, his local label releasing James's EP "Back of My Mind," is holding a sneak-preview listening party for James, starting at 8:30. Yes, you can hear it a week early and fall in love, too! Since James's actual CD-release show isn't until April 26 at the Varsity, the listening party will be a cure-all for our James-heavy hearts. And darn it all, we're going to call it early: This will be the record of the year.

Joanna James: www.myspace.com/joanna james
331 Club: http://www.331club.com/home.php

The not-so-little mermaid

2007-04-18T08:15:00.000-06:00

Today we woke up with so many questions bouncing in our brain: Is there really a place in France where ladies do a dance? Ontologically speaking, are we really all alone on this long journey? And lordy gabordy Mr. Tilapia, how are we going to eat your crispy-on-the-outside tender-on-the-inside sauteed loveliness with you staring at us with your mouth wide open like that? What, are you amazed at the heaven you are on the inside, too?

If you're at La Sirena Gorda, a lovely little Mexican seafood marisquería in the Midtown Global Market, Mr. Talipia's answer is probably the latter. Here, whole mouth-hanging-open-and-all tilapia is served in a spicy-as-life garlic mojo de ajo sauce with rice, guacamole, pico de gallo, and tortillas for only $9.95. Top it off with a traditional hibiscus iced tea for $1.75, and suddenly the bustling spot in the MGM appears magically sun-baked and as hot as summers by the sea should be.

Owner Alfonso Melendez, who also owns Babalu, used to manage the much pricier Oceanaire. But we love the easy-on-pocketbook and made-fresh-daily seafood meals he serves up at La Sirena Gorda like we love these bright April days. The shrimp tacos are fire-hot and scrumptious, the mahi-mahi tostadas marinated in chipotle sauce are what hibiscus tea was made for, and the sopa de mariscos, made with octopus, shrimp, mussels, clams, and calamari ($4.95), is little bits of heaven on earth, under the sea.

La Sirena Gorda, Midtown Global Market: http://www.midtownglobalmarket.org/?q=dining/lunch/38

BBQ vs. Grilling: Know the difference!

2007-04-17T06:06:00.000-06:00

Some say that Memorial Day is the official opening of grilling and BBQing season, but that must be in regions of the world that don't experience winter and spring the way we do. Here the Weber stands accusingly in a snow drift on the patio for three months, so as soon as we can go outside bareheaded, we like to buy a bag of charcoal and let 'er rip.

Let it be said here: This should be the year that you take it up a notch and learn the difference between grilling and BBQing. BBQing is long, slow cooking over indirect heat--you stack the coals on one side of the grill, and throw your ribs or brisket on the other side for at least two hours. Use coals, no lighter fluid.

Any simple-minded Promethean can grill; all it requires is a match and a spatula. It's instant gratification, but it's not all that different from broiling in your oven or searing on your stove. (By the way, women now do almost half the grilling in America; BBQ remains the domain of a handful of men. C'mon, ladies--bring those tongs outside and stay for a while!)

The key to BBQ is, of course, what you choose to cook. Anything that tastes good smoked will work, but our most recent favorite is Texas ribs--unique toothsome beef ribs that are hard to find in butcher shops around town. Kowalski's consistently impresses us in the meat department, and if you make special requests for special cuts, they respond generously.

Kowalski's Markets, http://www.kowalskis.com/

Is there an artist in you?

2007-04-16T11:23:00.000-06:00

Now that you've finished your taxes, the next postmark date you should have on your calendar is April 25. That's the date by which you should submit your entries to Rosalux Gallery's third annual "Open Door" exhibition.

In these solipsistic times, everyone considers himself or herself an artist. After all, any Joe can snap a photo with his celly, or shoot video with her Macbook and upload it to the world.

That means the world needs more editors and curators and recommendation agents--the gatekeepers who do the heavy, thankless work of eliminating all the "user-generated" art that threatens to overwhelm you.

We're pleased to report that Rosalux has contracted one of the more gifted and catholic-thinking curators in the region. You can be assured that Diane Mullin, a curator at the Weisman, will turn an eye to your work that is both expert and sympathetic. We've been delighted over the years at her aesthetic sense and her willingness to take risks on unknown ("emerging" is the old, false cliche) artists.

If you've got that artistic spark in the dark and the skills to pay the bills, Mullin will certainly find you out. And for only the $25 entry fee, that's cheaper than going to a fortune-teller, a tarot-card reader, or a Soho gallery full of snotty New Yorkers.

Rosalux Gallery, http://rosaluxgallery.com

Call for Entries, http://rosaluxgallery.com/juried/juried.html

Pick up your Drums and Guns

2007-04-13T06:28:00.000-06:00

We live in strange times. Today, it seems almost as if artists, movie stars, musicians and other public figures—heck, even private do-nothings like ourselves—are afraid to take a stand on the most pressing issue of the era: endless reckless pointless war. It's like everyone is afraid to be called a hippie.

Minnesota's best resident band, Low, has always been contrarian in all the right ways. They pioneered pure sweet "slowcore" at the height of the grunge fad. While they traveled the world supporting Radiohead, they still were the lifeblood of Downtown Duluth's dinky scene. And their deeply ethical and spiritual views keep percolating up despite the amoral, secular context of their industry and their nation.

Tomorrow night, get back in touch with soul, meaning, and message at Low's concert at First Avenue. Expect a stark and angry performance in support of "Drums and Guns," their brand new album from Sub-Pop. And for a sample of what this scene will be like, check Low's website, along with the video for their first new single "Breaker."

Low, "Breaker," http://www.chairkickers.com/video/Low_Breaker.mov

A most ingenious little device to bring to dinner

2007-04-12T09:36:00.000-06:00

Native Minnesotans have furtively been sneaking into Asian and Mexican groceries around town—especially on Nicollet Avenue's "Eat Street"—and discovering loads of cheap canned goods (fried dace with black beans, awesome!), wacky produce, and uh... live seafood with an authentic aroma to set you back on your heels.

One of the most charming aspects of these shops is their willy-nilly thrown-together quality that shows a blatant disregard for modern retail planning. Your first clue is that the place is shoehorned into either an old day care center or a drug store.

But the upside is lots of unique items you can't find anywhere else, like this ingenious stainless steel Thai lunch pail. While it's probably best suited as a lunchpail if the lunch you are packing is cold rice and beans, these devices are being marketed in the US as to-go containers that you bring along to the restaurant for any leftovers, so you can cut down on the paper and styrofoam in your fridge and in your trash can.

And the thing is just so nifty that even when we're eating in, we keep it out on the kitchen counter where it never fails to inspire a smile. Clever Thai people! Clever little lunchpail!

We found ours at Shuang Hur, at 27th and Nicollet.

Pressed for time

2007-04-11T06:27:00.001-06:00

Consider it a sustained, genetic backlash to the rise of the PC and desktop publishing: There is nothing quite as delightful to the hand and the eye as the subtle relief of letter forms and images pressed directly into heavy vellum.

There are a few old hand-operated letter-presses around town. Lunalux, down on Loring Park, has monopolized the attention because they pioneered the second coming of hot-lead type on heavy handmade papers 25 years ago (just about when Windows 2.0 was taking over the world).

But there are others hiding out around the city, like Papered Together, literally a mom and pop shop run from the home of Krista Stout in South Minneapolis. Stout's been doing a barnstorming business on Etsy, the secret commercial website of independent artisans and craftspeople everywhere. She recently cobbled together her own website, so now you can work with her directly to custom produce thank you notes, wedding invitations, drink coasters, and other obsoleted delights of a more gracious, hand-written time.

Krista Stout, Papered Together, http://www.paperedtogether.com/

@ Etsy, http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=73578

Hopped up on crank

2007-04-10T06:10:00.000-06:00

What may have been the biggest event on the calendar for Twin Cities bicycle freaks happened last Saturday. 'Twas the Art Crank Poster Show for Bike People, at One on One Bike Studio.

We tend to shy away from crowds, and this was a doozy: 500 Minnesota cyclists in their courier drag managed to drink 5 kegs of donated beer. And they lined up right out the door for the chance to buy one of about 45 limited edition prints created by Twin Cities artists with special bike love.

But the opportunity to buy fantastic local art at pavé-level prices continues for two more weeks: Many of these terrific posters by artists like Ken Avidor, Amy Rice, and Nicki McCracken are still available for purchase for around $10-15.

Biking is the new punk rock, and you can't have punk rock without a uniform, a badge, and poster art.

Art Crank Poster Show for Bike People, http://www.artcrankpostershow.com/

How to stake your claim on a Minneapolis lake

2007-04-09T06:58:00.000-06:00

Walking round the lakes yesterday, you might have wondered when the friendly sailboats will make their spring debut, bobbing and jingling on their buoys. In fact, vague sailboat gestures have long been the official logo of the City of Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board—a situation that the politicians are threatening to tamper with, apparently to avoid more challenging work.

You might be surprised at how easy it is to get a buoy to your own name on Lakes Harriet, Calhoun, or Nokomis. It goes like this: Tomorrow night, the MPRB holds its annual lottery at Lynnhurst Community Recreation Center. If you get your application filed by end of day today, you will in all likelihood be able to park your boat on the lake of your choice, effectively making one of the city's great amenities your own personal cruising ground.

City residents pay just $300 for the whole season, and in recent years there have been unoccupied berths well into August. (Suburbanites, you gotta cough up an extra Benjamin.) Once you're in the system, you have priority the following season—or you can jump to another lake, depending on whether you've hit your mid-life crisis and you're feeling more Calhoun than Harriet.

Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board sailboat buoy lottery, http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=26

Photo by Dan H, http://flickr.com/photos/dan_h/

Keeper of the Lights

2007-04-06T02:22:00.000-06:00

The Heights Theatre on Central Avenue Northeast stands as the last of its kind among megaplex towns. If those gigantic 18-theater mini cities turn movie-going into a nacho-cheese Olympic event, then the 80-year-old Heights makes film-viewing a magical and cherished tryst.

Chandeliers hang like teardrops in the auditorium. A grand piano greets guests in the lobby. And starting tonight, the Beaux Arts theatre is showing The Lives of Others, the winner of the best foreign-language Oscar, and a film that Variety says "grips like a boa constrictor." Oy!

Equally as charming as the Heights is the theater's monthly email newsletter, The Heights Lights, written by Georgia Gould-Lyle. She is a trivia queen, a film buff, a history expert, a sweet-recipe creator, and a provider of endlessly fun, heartwarming, and thought-provoking bits of wisdom. And she's one of those people who embraces life so hard it squeals. Along with the Heights' extensive and eclectic film offerings, the newsletters include reviews, quotes (Goethe, Orwell), poems (e.e. cummings), birth dates, notable "this day in history" moments, and yummy and unique recipes like the Norwegian Prune Whip.

When we signed up for the newsletter, we received only this wonderful little missive and affirmation in return: "Succeeded." Indeed we did. Because moments later our inbox dinged with our first newsletter, which held this lovely springtime oath from Sir William Watson: April, April/Laugh the girlish laughter; /Then the moment after, /Weep the girlish tears.

Heights Theatre, 3951 Central Ave. NE; http://www.heightstheatre.com/
Monthly newsletter (Heights Lights) by Georgia Gould-Lyle: http://www.heightstheatre.com/heightslights.cfm

Sing the songs of the piano man

2007-04-05T08:30:00.000-06:00

You know how "they" say you haven't truly lived until you've nibbled on a crispy, chocolate croissant from Sir Captain McButterfield's Buttery Wonderies while simultaneously dipping your recently pedicured paws into the shores of Gitchigomee? Well, we're pretty sure Sir Captain McB passed away long ago. And making toe-cicles on icy shores might have been what killed the ol' British sea captain/croissant king anyway.

So why not do the next best thing instead? At the swank and renovated Club Jager in the Warehouse District (at the corner of Washington and Tenth St. North, just a few hundred miles away from the Gitch!), tonight you can sit around a piano and a warm fire, sing along to a rousing version of Metallica's "One" in the key of, uh, piano, and drink buttery Bailey's and cream, a foamy Summit, or any other kind of deliciously boozy brew.

Piano man Peter Dugan plays all the hits live on the keys, and takes requests for hundreds of sing-a-long tunes. Duran Duran? Check. The Buggles? He sings "Video Killed the Radio Star" with his nose plugged. Toto? Yes-o.

He might (jokingly) call you a philistine for requesting any of the loads of '80s and '90s tunes that fill his extensive songbook. But just tell him you're trying to live, darn it, and seizing the day includes hearing Twisted Sister in D-minor.

Club Jager: www.myspace.com/clubhousejager

Pretty sweet things

2007-04-04T09:55:00.000-06:00

Sometimes there's a song, a movie, a book, or a poem that's so darn powerful and life-affirming it can live in your gut for weeks. It can take on a life of its own, until even the dancing tree branches outside your window are singing its song. The last episode of Six Feet Under did that. (Darn you, Nate!) The mournful and lovely poetry of Jack Gilbert did that. And now we can add the poetry of local writer and clothing designer Eireann Lorsung to that exclusive list.

A graduate from the MFA program at the U of M, Lorsung recently released Music for Landing Planes By (Milkweed Editions), a book of poetry inspired by the tapestries and mannequins that decorate her room, and the rich tapestries of life, death, love, and confusion that fill her mind--images she stitches together in magic metaphors and delightful details. Lorsung uses line breaks, parentheticals, brackets, spaces, and enjambments like color palettes, turning each poem into an aural painting.

"Doing," a poem about her mother's battle with cancer, is so honest and raw and confessional the reader almost feels intrusive. And "And Will Be" is a positive little affirmation, a thank you note to all that makes the heart thump: "If they can, I hope/every person in the world will say yes/which is the trumpet flower blooming over a wall."

Lorsung also makes pretty things for her online clothing shop, ohbara.com. Today she has wallets she weaved from vintage fabrics and the sweet stories that came with them.

Music for Landing Planes By: http://www.milkweed.org
Bara Shop: http://www.ohbara.com/

Big Foot has been spotted!

2007-04-03T09:10:00.000-06:00

Remember back in the 80s, when, like, everyone's global footprint was longer than a beanstalk? When Big Macs came in Styrofoam boxes and aerosol cans of Aqua Net turned bathrooms into fog cabins? (Pretty sneaky, sis!) Now we're learning how to reduce our global footprint. To be kinder, gentler, and to take baby steps as we take giant steps to reduce global warming. For the most part, we try to sow seeds of love and tread lightly on all that springs up. Tiptoe through the tulips like our own Tiny Tim.

But our feet are still really big and awkward. And sometimes it's easy to stumble over them. That's why there are events like Global Warming Day of Action on Saturday, April 14. From noon till 4 p.m. at the Minnesota State Capitol Mall, speakers such as Senator Amy Klobuchar, Representative Keith Ellison, and Mayor R.T. Rybak will gather to discuss solutions and actions Minnesotans can take to reduce pollution, create new jobs, and improve the environment.

Local musicians, dancers, and artists will also be on hand to celebrate the event. So far Jenny Dalton, Cosmic Railroad, and Gold Standard have been confirmed to play. But you can sign up for the email newsletter to find out what other performers and speakers have signed on as it happens.

Global Warming Day of Action: http://www.globalwarmingdayofaction.org/

Needle me

2007-04-02T07:03:00.000-06:00

Sometimes things happen. And by "things," we mean circumstances that get your mind, body, and soul all out of whack.

It could be a common cold, a chronic illness, or something that made you feel like you swallowed an iron boulder. There's a giant chunk of deep earth resting heavily on your heart and it makes even strawberry gumballs taste like dirty camping-tent stakes.

In short, your Qi is blocked something fierce. You have a meteorite in your ticker. And, gosh darnit all, if a nightly dose of Lexapro and monthly visits to Ms. Western Doctor and her fancy clipboard and clicking pen just aren't fixing it.

That's why there's Point Clinic for acupuncture and Asian medicine, a sweet and loving and all-around good-hearted and good-souled place to treat all that ails you. Located at 236 Cretin Avenue South in St. Paul, Point is like a lil' haven of repose and restoration. We admit it. We're investigators of all kinds of therapies (we'll try anything! really!), and we can't think of a better place in town for healing treatments from compassionate, honest, and well-trained acupuncture practitioners and herbalists.

Run by Hongji Bessler and Kathy Carey, Point Clinic also is incredibly affordable. One acupuncture session (which usually runs about 40 minutes) is only $55; herbal formulas are just $12 a bottle; and Point accepts HealthPartners insurance. Aside from us, Bessler and Carey have tons of other happy clients, too. Patients credit the acupuncturists with everything from reducing their anxiety and increasing fertility, to relieving chronic pain and helping them to heal and walk again after a stroke. In fact, reading Point's client testimonials was our much-needed morning dose of heartwarming and lovely.

And that meteorite resting in our heart? Well, it's more like a pebble these days. Or a little nugget. And we like to think it's made of crystal. Or maybe beautiful marble.

Point Clinic: http://pointclinic.com/

Secret show for a secret blogger

2007-03-30T08:13:00.000-06:00

Hey, get this guy some new glasses, why don't ya? This weekend, some of the funniest folks and writers in town are hosting an impromptu benefit for the funniest blogger in town.

Last week we brought you to the wonderful condo-busted neighborhood of Armitage Heights, a make-believe land full of small-town woes, an art/tagging team known as Kaos Crew, a Chuck Klosterman-type, and a gun advocate who recently died of dysentery. (Doesn't every town have those?) The brainchild of Andy Sturdevant, a local artist and sometime-performer on the Electric Arc Radio Show, Armitage Heights even has its own famous blogger in city councilman Sherman Larson, whose blog we called the best blog in town that isn't about our town.

Unfortunately, we found out that last week Andy Sturdevant (a.k.a Sherman Larson) was assaulted only two blocks from his home in South Minneapolis. He was bruised up pretty badly, lost his glasses, and had to go to the clinic for X-rays, among other things. (Would these things happen in Armitage Heights? Ask Marisha!) Sturdevant recently landed a new job, too, where his insurance doesn't kick in for another month. So his friends are hosting a benefit to pay for his medical bills and new glasses.

Called the SturdEvent (get it?), the benefit takes place in Studio 406 at the California Building (2205 California Street NE) in Northeast Minneapolis on Sunday, starting around 6:00 p.m. and going till around 10:00 p.m. Members of the Lit 6 Project will do some very special readings, other local artists and writers will be on hand to showcase their talents, and Sturdevant himself might even read from his blog. You never knew what could happen at a SturdEvent. All you need is a few dollars and a heart of gold (fool's good will do!) to attend. And who knows, maybe Marisha and Sherman Larson might make an appearance, too.

Electric Arc Radio: http://www.electricarcradio.com/
Lit 6 Project: http://www.lit6project.com/

So cute. So sweet.

2007-03-29T07:37:00.000-06:00

Springtime gives us a hankering for the girly stuff. You know, cute things and sweet curiosities that come in pretty packages. Give us a basket full of lavender sachets, vintage jewelry, Parisian knick-knacks, French-inspired art, and honeysuckle-scented body creams that come in artful bottles, and we'll gladly give you a cupboard full of couscous, organic peanut butter, and granola "shake" from the bottom of a bag. (The magic spring-cleaning machine hasn't made its way to the kitchen yet.)

It's a good thing Galerie Sochi, which just moved to a new sweet spot on Snelling and Jefferson in St. Paul, has all of these fine, feminine wares and more. The little shop and gallery is loaded with French and Italian-inspired antiques and furniture, delightful greeting cards created by companies like Graphique de France, candles that bring springtime inside, goodies created by local artisans, and four cases of vintage and locally-made jewelery. Our favorites were the dainty cameos and unique rhinestone pins and brooches.

Best of all, the prices are reasonable. We snagged one-of-a-kind head scarves for under $10, and spotted a gorgeous and stretchy rhinestone bracelet for $38. Really, leave us a basket full of these sweet things and we promise to clean our cupboards for you.

Galerie Sochi: http://www.sochionline.com/

April showers bring... awesome clothing technology

2007-03-28T06:03:00.000-06:00

One of the great technological breakthroughs of the 20th century came fairly late: breathable fabrics that are entirely waterproof. Gore-Tex, of course, was the big one. It made life in Minnesota infinitely better, because you could stay warm and dry and still, you know, walk around and do stuff. (Most people don't realize that you get wet wearing waterproof clothing because of sweat and condensation.)

Now Gore-Tex has been upstaged in a big way. A new fabric called eVent is up to 50 percent more breathable than the old standby, and what's more, eVent is olaphobic--that is, it doesn't absorb body oils like Gore-Tex does, and therefore its breathability and waterproofing last longer.

You won't find eVent easily: Just a handful of manufacturers are using it in their outerwear. Pearl Izumi, the bike and ski clothing company uses it in one jacket, which we located at Erik's Bike Shop.

But if you're as convinced as we are that this stuff is the greatest thing since stone-ground mustard on sliced bread, check out Showers Pass, a tiny company in the rainy Northwest. Their "Elite" jacket ($179—actually a bargain compared to Gore-Tex products) has been the subject of a widespread whisper campaign suggesting that it may be the best rain jacket ever known to man (and woman). That's crazy talk — which we just happen to endorse.

Erik's Bike Shop, http://www.eriksbikeshop.com/
Shower's Pass, http://www.showerspass.com/

The red flag of courage

2007-03-27T05:59:00.000-06:00

Judging from the robins that have arrived fat and riotous, things were good in the South. They were welcomed by an old friend: the red flash that never leaves. Cardinals are non-migratory, though they do dial back their operations a bit during the winter.

An interesting consequence of their sedentary life is that cardinals apparently develop "dialects" in their songs. In a manner of speaking, our cardinals have a Minnesota accent. That's a subject that Birdchick, our favorite Twin Cities birdwatcher, discussed at her blog a while back.

While humans feel redeemed by the song of birds, we ought to feel threatened. Most birds sing in order to mark their territory. And the cardinals are not shy about scolding all interlopers and trespassers.

Birdchick, http://www.birdchick.com/blog.html

We're mad for these women

2007-03-26T05:37:00.000-06:00

The whole gluten-free deal is on everyone's radar these days, and there is a strong ping coming from south Nicollet Avenue at 47th Street. That's where you'll find Madwoman bakery and cafe, Madwoman Foods' brand new retail space. Here you can buy straight from the source those awesome little tea cakes you've been seeing around town, and hang out in what our copy chief calls "Celiac's Central."

Mind, you don't have to be a celiac--nor even sensitive to wheat, which actually makes everyone a little gassy--to go crazy for Madwoman goods. Beloved brought home a stack of little flatbreads the other day, and we made personal pizzas for the whole family. They were delish. And 24 hours later, not a single fart! (Except the cook, who isn't entirely off gluten. Ahem.)

Madwoman Foods, http://madwomanfoods.com/

Serious home body

2007-03-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

Weekends should be all about therapy. Not the running-on-the-
emotional-treadmill and all-
the-way-back-to-third-grade-
where-gummy-Jimmy-Mason-laughed-
at-your-inability-to-kick-a-ball-
the-size-of-a-boulder kind of cognitive therapy we employ during the rest of the week. (That is work, after all, and darn it, you should be getting paid for it!)

We're talking about body, mind, and spiritual therapy that can only come from an hour-long shiatsu session done right there, in the comfort of your home sweet home, where the bed is only inches away and welcoming you with open arms to the best sleep you'll have in months.

Local shiatsu therapist Kristen Tredrea will travel to you for healing hour-long shiatsu sessions totaling a mere $60. Wait a minute...Are we saying you don't have to leave your house, Tredrea brings over the necessary gear like a comfy futon mattress and her impressive diagnostic and massage skills, and all you have to do is drink plenty of water to cleanse your system? Yes. It's true. She comes right to you. It's the best special delivery care package ever created.

Best of all, Tredrea is serious about her work and seriously skilled in the art of shiatsu therapy. There's not a pressure point or muscle that goes missed, and she will work out any serious kinks and focus on physical, mental, and emotional ailments that can be worked out from the magic touch of shiatsu. Quite frankly, we can't think of a better home remedy for all that ails us.

Kristen Tredrea, shiatsu massage therapist: 612-205-5174

All souped up

2007-03-22T09:35:00.000-06:00

The sun is smiling, barrel-chested robins are hopping through soggy yards, and the rhododendrons are promising purple buds soon. A day of possibilities and silent oaths wouldn't be complete without our favorite little liquid indulgence, the lemon chicken soup from True Thai in the Seward neighborhood, at the corner of 26th and Franklin.

This stuff is loaded with promises and surprises. One sip or bite or gulp of the creamy coconut soup gets you a mouthful of shiitake mushrooms, in another you'll find lemony delicious and thinly sliced white chicken breast, another you'll discover giant basil leaves and fresh coriander soaked to perfection in the ivory coconut goodness. Every spoonful and forkful (it comes with jasmine rice for your soaking pleasure) feels all new and exciting. Even after a steady diet of only lemon chicken soup, it never feels stale and dull and same ol' "let's just sit here on this sunken-in couch and watch a movie and not talk and then fall asleep and stumble into that lonely place called a bedroom for the umpteenth time in a row."

Oh, no. This soup is nothing like that. It's so rewarding and fresh each time that you just might want to pour it into your mouth from a giant ladle, or a plastic measuring cup, or gulp it directly from the bowl like a feral beast, just to ensure you don't miss any of the lemony flavors, the zest of the Thai chilis, the sweetness of the coconut milk, and all of the little surprises that come with it.

True Thai: http://www.truethairestaurant.com/, 2627 E Franklin Ave
Minneapolis, 612.375.9942

Armitage Heights: The next Seattle?

2007-03-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

The best blog in town isn't about our town at all. It has nothing to do with "wingnuts" and "moonbats." And it isn't tired ol' he said/she said baiting or full of predictable mud-slinging politics and unsubstantiated claims. Ok, we lied about the unsubstantiated claims. Because the best blog in town (http://armitageheights.blogspot.com/) is written by a pretend councilman from a fake town in a made-up neighborhood called Armitage Heights.

Meet Sherman Larson. The Councilman of the 3rd Ward and Armitage Heights neighborhood (a town just on the edge of Little Warsaw). He's a 38-year-old fan of R.E.M. and local band the October Revolutionists. And he's the brainchild of real-not-fake Minneapolis artist/writer/man-about-town Andy Sturdevant. It won't be long before Sturdevant leaves the Heights for greener pastures and Zeppelin-free neighborhoods. We predict big things for this guy, so it'd be wise to visit the Heights before the entire neighborhood suffers the fate of its own Marla Manda Johanssen, a right-wing handgun activist who caught dysentery.

The goings-on in this un-Dickensian and complex little 'hood sometimes mirror the stories unfolding in our own backyard. Armitage Heights, for example, is experiencing its own condo bust, though it's a claim made by the local alt-weekly that Mr. Larson vehemently denies. After all, the Gruyere Flats Luxury and Artisanal Cheese Despository offers "sharp, dry, delicious living in the historic St. Aloysisus Greek Orthodox Veterans Hospital in Kendall Park!" And who could argue with such plasma-TV promises?

Oh, ye olde Armitage Heights. Once we visit you, we can never go back home. We left our hearts in Armitage Heights forever.

Armitage Heights blog: http://armitageheights.blogspot.com/
Andy Sturdevant: http://www.myspace.com/andysturdevant

Where to get lubed and overhauled

2007-03-20T05:12:00.000-06:00

In the service industries, there is often an inverse relationship between demand, supply, and integrity. The more you need a carpenter, the less reliable more carpenters seem to be. When they have an infinite supply of work, they seem to feel—well, less customer-service oriented.

That's why exceptions to this rule live long, happy, well compensated lives. When you find a golden auto mechanic, you jealously hold on to him or her forever.

Amigo Service Station at 36th and South Lyndale has kept one family going through four or five generations of cars. Todd and Pete recognize Mom's voice on the phone, they give head-of-the-pin estimates, they guarantee their work—in a word, they're all about the customer service, from tire leaks to transmission cataclysms.

Cheap? No. Worth every penny? Yes. Because that kind of security allows thousands of Twin Citizen to grow old with their used cars.

Amico Service Center, 3544 Lyndale Ave S
Minneapolis, 612.822.6088

Wee bit o' comfort in a weary world

2007-03-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

So now you've had your fill of green beer (ack) or Irish whiskey (oof) and it's back to your workaday life as a random northern European mongrel. But if you didn't get started with the strong drink too early on Saturday, you might have noticed the menu. And if you were at Keegan's in Northeast Minneapolis, you might have spied the Shepherd's Pie.

Treat yourself today to one of the city's finest dishes of comfort food: it's Olde World tatertot hotdish. A baked duvet of mashed potatoes covers clusters of beef, peas, and carrots in a thick gravy which is touched with a hint of rosemary and sage. And it comes with a slice of authentic soda bread—not something you see at run o' the mill Irish pubs.

If you must, go ahead and have a little hair of the dog that bit ye.

Keegan's, http://www.keeganspub.com/, 16 University Ave NE, Minneapolis

For his own special sweetheart

2007-03-16T10:17:00.000-06:00

Today the city looks like it's been dusted with powdered sugar. The grass appears lickable. And the grime is covered up by yummy, white goodness. It's afternoons like this, when the sky looks like tarnished nickel and the ground is made of candy coating, that offer a new perspective. Out of ugliness comes goodness. Out of gloominess comes tenderness. Out of despair comes humanity. Or something like that.

If you need further proof, tomorrow night at the 7th Street Entry a handful of Twin Cities bands are coming together to benefit Callum Robbins, the one-year-old son of Jawbox frontman J. Robbins. Callum was recently diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy, a debilitating disease that often results in death within a year. In an effort to help the family obtain alternate forms of therapy, local record label Catlick is putting out a 32-song disc in honor of Robbins, his partner Janet Morgan, and their son, Callum. Local bands Story of the Sea, the Icy Shores, Arcwelder, and Halloween, Alaska, among a handful of others, appear on the CD full of post-punk greats like Jawbreaker and Pilot to Gunner. All proceeds from the show and sale go to Callum's family.

Jawbox's Your Own Special Sweetheart is one of those seminal teeth-gnashing records we pull out at least every six months. "Savory" must be the sexiest song about selfishness ever written. And that record, as well as the band's Dischord releases, also had a major influence on the local bands playing the benefit show on Saturday: Arcwelder, Story of the Sea, Self-Evident, All the Way Rider, and the Million, featuring former Jawbox drummer Zach Barocas. Tickets are $6; the 32-song CD is $15.

Callum Robbins info: http://www.callumrobbins.blogspot.com
SMA info: http://www.smafoundation.org/
Catlick Records: http://www.catlickrecords.com

Drinking for a cause

2007-03-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

He still remembers the moment he fell in love with her. It was over a cheese plate. Her face was consumed by candlelight. His belly was warm with Merlot. (It was eight years ago, before Sideways made the poor grape gauche.) She laughed at his horrible Y2K joke. And the giggle wove satin ribbons around his heart.

Wait....it wasn't over food. And it wasn't a candle illuminating those rosy cheeks. It might have been fluorescent lights. Nope, it was sun light. Or perhaps it was dark? And maybe it wasn't a Merlot after all, but a Bordeaux. Or a Burgundy. Ah, hell. Maybe it wasn't even red wine. Maybe it was a Viognier...

Whatever it was that caused his heart to become satin-stitched forever, tonight he's planning to relive the moment all over again. He's taking his girlfriend to the wine tasting at the Cedar Cultural Center (6:30 pm till 9:30 pm), an event hosted by Zipp's Liquors. With more than 150 wines to choose from and yummy food served up by the Seward Co-op, thirty bucks per person feels like a steal to this romantic gentleman. Best of all, the proceeds from the tasting benefit Youth Farm and Market Project, a local organization that promotes urban agriculture and youth organizing.

So when he squeezes her hand and whispers in her ear, "This reminds me of the time I fell in love with you," he won't be feeding her a line. With 150 different wines, the one they shared that lovely night (or maybe it was day time?) is bound to be among the bunch.

Zipp's Liquors: http://www.zippsliquors.com
Youth Farm and Market Project: http://www.youthfarm.net/

Photo: (CC) By Andre Karwath

Your name here

2007-03-14T04:37:00.000-06:00

Are you ready to meet someone new? You should meet Paul Schmelzer. Or rather, don't worry too much about meeting him. He's a very nice man, but you should get to know his work.

Schmelzer is a man about town and a workhorse of the editor/writer/reporter variety. He's a regular contributor to the Minnesota Monitor, an independent consortium of bloggers and reporters that--get this--actually interviews people and witnesses real events, and then publishes the result according to something they quaintly refer to as "traditional journalistic standards." PS pens the media criticism column, and he talks to the talkers and reports on the reporters and somehow manages to get his keypunchers on a whole lot of secret memos.

The man also edits the Walker's quarterly magazine, one of the finer publications you never read but you should. He rides herd on the Walker's never-ending house-party of blogs, and to top it all off, he has one of the funniest little art projects going: He asks celebrities to sign HIS autograph.

The concept and execution are much simpler than the description, but Schmelzer basically asks celebrities to sign the name "Paul Schmelzer." He posts the results at http://signifier-signed.blogspot.com/. (Our favorite: Mikhail Baryshnikov, who took the time not to sign Schmelzer's request, but to write "Not Interested, Thank You." That cost him eight extra letters. You don't stay at the top of classical ballet by wasting energy! The example in the picture above is Jesse Ventura's.)

Signifier, signed: http://signifier-signed.blogspot.com/
Minnesota Monitor: http://minnesotamonitor.com/magFront.do
Eyeteeth: http://eyeteeth.blogspot.com/

Perfection in a can

2007-03-13T06:24:00.000-06:00

Not many things are pure these days. You go to the paint store, for example, and there are more shades of white than Eskimo words for snow. Variety is great, sure, but there is a phrase that's gaining currency among marketers these days, and that phrase is "choice fatigue." Never does a person feel more fatigued by free choice than at the paint store. You're looking for the perfect shade of white for a Spring paint job, fumbling with dozens and dozens of swatches with fanciful names and mysterious alpha-numeric codes. You wonder why the last "white" looked blue in natural light and red under the incandescents, and you're determined to wade through the "Washed Sand" and the "Desert Solitaire" and the "Bleached Bones" and the "Glacial Sky."

Needless to say, we will be forever grateful to a friend who is an interior designer. Doing much photo styling for advertisers like Target and Best Buy, she's painted her fair share of set walls and fake window sills, and her recommendation is golden: Hirshfield's Latex Superwhite, no added tint, in the finish of your choice. (We like semi-gloss on the woodwork, eggshell on the walls, and flat on the ceiling.) If white is what you're after, then don't mess with the thick poetry book of paint tints. Buy a can of locally produced purity.

Now that it's pleasant enough to open the windows, but not quite pleasant enough to begin gardening, it's the perfect time to work on those baseboards or the stairwell, and you don't want to start the job feeling fatigued about what's white and what's not.

Hirshfield's, http://www.hirshfields.com/, 325 East Lake Street, Minneapolis, 612.823.7209; 2741 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612.870.0200; and many other locations throughout the state

One last drink on ice

2007-03-12T05:46:00.000-06:00

The lakes, you may recall, were open water into January. Disgruntled Twin Citizens got a lift when the mercury finally fell, and soon standing water was frozen to a depth of two or three feet. Ice fisherman came out like a blaze-orange infestation, dragging their black cargo tubs.This seemed to provoke snow.

Because of winter's late arrival, though, some of the lakes that are normally cultivated for ice skating were left fallow this year. Needless to say, there was not as much skating as some would have liked.

So, in filling a winter wish for a spring birthday, a family rented the studio ice rink at Parade Ice Garden, and invited a dozen nine-year-old girls.

Seventy dollars reserved the sheet for one unshared hour, and included free skate rentals. (Nice skates, too! Leather-soled Reidell's with sharp, stainless blades.) The ceiling was low and the walls were close, scuffed by a battery of pucks. The rink was not quite half the size of a normal hockey arena, but was used nonetheless.

The light was flourescent. The air smelled like glue. And the children filled the room with great piercing squeals of delight.

Parade Ice Garden, http://www.minneapolisparks.org/default.asp?PageID=744, 612.370.4846.

Get baked

2007-03-09T08:17:00.000-06:00

The coolest fish fry in town is happening tonight. And Mary cannot wait.

Mary's grandmother used to take her to fish fries. They'd walk down the cobblestone street to Mary Queen of Peace, the same church Mary's crush attended. He gelled his bangs just like Jake in "Sixteen Candles." And he smelled like baked potatoes and Drakkar Noir. Someday, Mary thought, he will pick her up in a red sports car the size of a grape, and they'll go eat birthday cake and almost burn their corduroys on the candles. Someday.

For Lent, Mary always gave up soda, though Pepsi for her was like love. She quit quitting things when she was about 14, trading in giving up things for, like, indulging in everything. Later, she started to miss those rainy walks with grandma down that wayward-brick death trap known as a street.

So she was happy to learn that fish fries have become cool again, and that progressive parishes like St. Albert, in the Longfellow neighborhood, are welcoming everyone—regardless of faith or lack thereof—to their fish fries. In fact, St. Albert is so progressive that they are offering baked fish as well, since anything fried is so, like, Reagan-era anti-single-mom Catholic Church. (St. Albert's website, by the way, boasts that the church is made up of single, gay, straight, lesbian, divorced, widowed, and married members.)

Mary is looking forward to devouring the baked fish and spaghetti and pie and lemonade (all for $9) with a heavy heap of nostalgia. And she's thinking of bringing along a friend who's never experienced the meatless Friday. Because Bingo will be on tap in the school gym from 5:30 till 7:45. And, as she knows, everyone is a sucker for spinning balls.

St. Albert the Great Catholic Church: http://www.saintalbertthegreat.org/index.html

A literal approach to recycling

2007-03-08T09:52:00.001-06:00

There's something about the way the sun slants through the windows in March. The rays become little promises of spring, a silent vow to light lovers that lilacs really will bloom again and that grass won't stay the color of Uncle Ernest's dirty blond hairpiece forever. It's a month of anticipation: You know the best is yet to come.

Personally, we can't stop thinking about dusting off our bikes and getting out on the Midtown Greenway. Thankfully, then, one of the best bike shops in town is opening a new shop and celebrating with a gigantic sale this Saturday. The Hub Bike Co-op is moving one building north of its old location to 3020 Minnehaha Avenue. The employee-owned and -run shop will have what they promise to be "rock-bottom" prices on 2006 closeout bikes, 10 to 40 percent off select merchandise, and free pedal-blended smoothies all day.

The employees also will put on free workshops all day, including a single-speed workshop for the bike hipsters who want to outfit their own cool mode of city transportation. And at 11:00 am, Ms. Butternut takes to the trapeze to celebrate the grand opening with swinging acrobatics.

If you're a new to the biking scene, this great shop won't make you feel like a novice. And they have the Sheila Moon wool-fleece hoodie for $92.99, which makes the winter-spring transition easier to bear as you're speeding down the Greenway, past that one guy's house with a yard built by the flora gods, around the paths to Cedar Lake, all the way out to Robbinsdale, and back to the Midtown Global Market again and then on to St. Paul, just because you can't seem to get enough of it.

The Hub: http://thehubbikecoop.org/
Midtown Greenway: http://www.midtowngreenway.org/

Erin Go Dude, Bragh

2007-03-07T08:00:00.000-06:00

Green beer. Blinking "Kiss Me I'm Irish" buttons. Shamrocks hand-drawn on cheeks. They're all about as Irish as a benched Tracy McGrady on a night when the Celtics are in town to take him down.

Still, their utter lack of Irishness isn't enough to keep the green beer from flowing through the streets of these here fair cities come St. Patrick's Day, March 17. It's a growing epidemic known as Imitation Irish, and every dude who's ever muttered the word "dude" is guilty of it. (You—okay, we—know who we are.)

But tonight the Midtown Global Market has a cure for Imitation Irish. From 6:30 p.m. till 9:00 p.m. the fabulous public market at Lake and Chicago will host free Irish ceili (kay-lee) dancing lessons right in the heart of the market. No, you won't be forced to start jigging like a leggy leprechaun, or even worse, be required to show off your Michael Flatley moves. This is strictly old-school Irish folk dancing that can be done alone, or with a partner. Think of it as Irish square dancing, minus do-si-doing into an innocent victim's jaw. Newcomers are always welcome, so it's perfectly acceptable to be more than a bit green here, though we'd advise only in the inexperienced way. (Save the green make-up for your Frogger costume instead.)

Did we mention it's entirely free and open to everyone? And what better way to replace your Imitation Irish than with a genuine, leg-crafted ceili?

Midtown Global Market: http://www.midtownglobalmarket.org/?q=node/323
Ceili Dancing: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ceili

A taste of the near future

2007-03-06T07:01:00.000-06:00

In March, there is logic but not much pleasure in eating locally and seasonally. That practice at this season leaves about a dozen soft potatoes with jaundiced eyes staring up at you from the bin, and frozen wieners deep in the icebox. So, in spite of Lent, Californian strawberries are eaten with cream and liberal guilt. Kale the color of the Carribean somehow materializes in the crisper.

And then a little gray postcard arrived in the mail the other day. It was a reminder. Time to sign up for one of summer's great blessings: Community Homestead's CSA, which expresses itself in a weekly waxed boxful of fresh organic vegetables grown in St. Croix Valley dirt. It's like receiving the seed catalogue with a promise that your order will arrive fully bloomed, harvested, and washed long about June and continuing into October.

A small family can sign up for a $275 weekly box. A large one can sign up for the $475 rig. A note of caution: At the peak of summer kale, you'll need to arrive at a strategy for an extended greens menu, or some sort of neighborhood feed. For this reason, we like to split our box with a willing friend or family member. And do plan a trip out to visit the spread. Community Homestead is a beautiful 140 acre farm near Osceola. It is operated by an extended family of 40 folks with special needs and special skills, from dairy farming to woodworking and baking.

Community Homestead: http://www.communityhomestead.org/

Church for practicing Minnesotans

2007-03-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

The funny little man didn't say much. He showed up for work on time, he left on time, he never said much. On the first Wednesday of every March, though, he arrived at work with a large cardboard box. In that box was a 12-inch black and white television with rabbit-ear antennae. He took it out and worried it into place right next to his computer monitor. And at about 11 a.m., the TV set went on and stayed on until late the following Saturday night, after the final championship game of the Minnesota State High School Hockey Tournament had been played.

"This is like church for practicing Minnesotans," he said to anyone who asked, including his boss. "And ever since the league was split into two classes, there's twice as much church to attend."

He didn't watch hockey at any other time, or any other place. And it didn't matter who was playing, from the Warroad Warriors down to the Albert Lea Tigers (Wednesday, 8 p.m.), the Roseau Rams to the Woodbury Royals (Thursday 11 a.m.)

Why didn't he take some PTO, and go see the games right there in the cathedral—the Xcel Energy Center? "You don't get the close-ups when they introduce the cheerleaders and the players," he said. "The flower of youth. It sometimes shrinks in bright light, sometimes it blooms, and sometimes it picks its nose."

What a funny little man.

Minnesota State Boys High School Hockey Tournament, starting Wednesday, March 7

Xcel Energy Center, http://www.xcelenergycenter.com

KSTC Channels 45 & 12, http://www.kstp.com/

Bark at the moon

2007-03-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

Minnesotans couldn’t ask for a more poetic and dreamy weekend. Literally. Layers of downy snow blanket the city. Whiteouts make skyscrapers disappear in magical ways Copperfield could never muster. The sky is hovering so close to the ground you could poke your head through its milky center. And the lunar eclipse on Saturday will turn the moon into coffee and caramel. It’s as if Henry David Thoreau and Robert Frost were the ultimate Farmer’s Almanac, predicting with perfect visual acuity how the Twin Cities will appear on Saturday, March 3.

Thoreau often referred to the moon as “cheerful.” And tomorrow from approximately 3:30 pm till 7:15 pm, the happy moon will enter the earth’s shadow, causing it to turn shades of crimson and rust.

There are a number of spots around town to view the shadowy satellite. For starters, the Minnesota North Star Chapter of the Sierra Club is hosting what they’re calling the Lunatic Bonfire and Moonlight Hike in Inver Grove Heights. And at Coldwater—the birthplace of Minnesota—everyone is invited to participate in a moonlight walk, which includes the traditional group howl.

Personally, we can’t think of a better place to check out the mahogany-moon-lit snow than in Northeast Minneapolis. There’s nothing quite like the view of the snowy city dancing in the Mississippi along the Broadway Bridge. Plus, we’ll be in the neighborhood checking out Lit 6's Electric Arc Radio Show at the Ritz Theatre at 4:00 pm before heading over to the Mill City Café for local artists Paul Taylor and Kendall Bohn’s “Cyborg Fish: A night in Outer Space with Multi Media Art and Music." And what better way to prepare for a night in outer space than watching celestial bodies morph into balls of glowing candy?

Coldwater: http://www.friendsofcoldwater.org/
Sierra Club: http://mn.sierraclub.org/outings/o0020.html
Electric Arc Radio Show: http://www.myspace.com/electricarcradio
lunar eclipse: http://www.astronomy.com/asy/default.aspx?c=a&id=5221

Party like it's 1959 (or 2099)

2007-03-01T09:01:00.000-06:00

The first time we laid our eyes on Blu Dot furniture it was at a much cooler and wiser friend's house. There the perfect media-storage unit was, in all its sleekness and refined-ness and clean lines-ness and high-design-ness, doubling as a display buffet. Oooh, it was so functional! And it was the perfect contemporary take on mid-century design. It was minimalist and artful and as pretty as a peach. Instantly, we were green with furniture envy.

We began to wonder: Could this clean and contemporary beauty magically make clutter disappear into the heavens, too? A decision had to be made: It was time to get rid of that IKEA furniture for good. We were settling, after all. We never truly loved it. It never truly loved us. It was just "good for the time being." Now it was finally time to move on. Time to experience the kind of furniture love we knew we deserved.

Thankfully, then, Design Within Reach Studio is holding a sneak-peak Blu Dot preview party tonight from 6:00 to 8:00 pm, featuring Blu Dot's latest prototypes and products launching at this year's International Contemporary Furniture Fair in NYC. Blizzard be damned, because not only will Blu Dot founders and designers John Christakos and Maurice Banks be on hand to talk about their lovely mid-century/ultra-modern furniture that doubles as art, but yummy cocktails will be there to greet guests, too.

Of course furniture that has two lives as functional and artful wouldn't throw a party that doesn't have a double mission: Local artists from mplsart.com will be showcasing their fabulous works, too.

Design Within Reach: http://www.dwr.com/studios/minneapolis
2939 Hennepin Avenue S., Minneapolis
Blu Dot: http://www.bludot.com/

The ingenuity of an overcomfortable society

2007-02-28T07:01:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you see something that makes you think, "My gosh, we've reached the peak of civilization and shot right past it." Late-night television and sweater pill removers are two of these things. And yet, we've made our bed and now we're going to lie in it.

Winter is waning, and spring has shown no buds. We're in that unsettling limbo between the girls and boys state high school hockey tournaments. Why not stay up all night watching infomercials and shaving your sweaters? Deep in the cedar chest, where your woolens spend the summer, you might luck out and find that jumbo lint remover that you bought on QTV last year for $10 and sheepishly extracted from your mailbox last March, making sure the mailman was over the horizon.

Conversely, if you never owned a pill remover, you could head out to the "As Seen On TV" store at the Mall of America. But that strategy seems almost as perverse as making instant coffee in the microwave.

Lint Shaver, $12.95, at AsSeenOnTV.com, http://www.asseenontv.com/search.html?searchstr=lint+shaver&search=Search

It's the water

2007-02-27T07:18:00.000-06:00

When Pete Hautman wrote The Mortal Nuts, his novel set mostly at the Minnesota State Fair, he had one of his characters running a drinking water scam: Dude merely bought a bottle capper and saved up his Evian bottles, filling them with City of Minneapolis tap water. That's the sort of scam a Minnesotan can pull off, and one that any other Minnesotan can appreciate. And now life imitates art, or close enough anyway.

While International Falls fights with some upstart hamlet in Colorado over the ice-box moniker, the Iron Range city of Buhl, Minnesota has launched its own campaign to put their "finest drinking water in America" on the table. The Buhl city water tower has made that claim since 1901, and now the Buhl Water Company is bottling it and selling it across the land.

We don't have a lot of patience when it comes to taste-testing water. As long as it doesn't hit your tonsils like iron or smell like sulphur, we figure it's good to go. So Buhl's label says, "Proud of our Buhl Municipal Drinking Water" and "Pure NOT Purified" and that's excuse enough to buy local and steer clear of Coke's Dasani water and Pepsi's Aquafina—that is if you're the sort of person who buys bottled water. Say a transplant from New York or Mexico City or Oakwood.

Buhl Water Company, http://www.buhl-water.com

New location, bomber secret sale

2007-02-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, and you were an alpine skier, you considered the Hoigaard's smokestack in St. Louis Park a kind of axis mundi. Mom and Dad drove and paid the bill, so you didn't realize Hoigaard's was the the most expensive, most elite, hardest-to-actually-find ski shop between Chicago and Jackson Hole. It was a treat you could count on—like Kokesh used to be for hockey players, Pierce for figure skaters, and the Malt Shop for everyone else.

So it's hard to believe Hoigaard's pulled up stakes and hung a shingle at The Miracle Mile, that dumpy little strip mall at Excelsior and Highway 100. Truth be told, the location is spitting distance from the old digs, but a much more direct route from any approach, and they've spiffed that mall up considerably. The new location feels smaller with lower ceilings; the place is more packed than ever with high-end gear from Spyder, Fischer, Atomic, Dale of Norway, and so on. And Hoigaard's now has respectable departments in nordic equipment, snowboarding, camping gear, and bicycles.

But our main interest at the moment is the deeply discounted winter gear. Especially the sleds. If you haven't looked lately, you'll be surprised at how the good-old tobaggan has been upscaled with space-age materials and designs. Our favorite, the Hammerhead Sled, looks like a NASA-grade Mars orbiter (that's it in the picture), and normally costs a stratospheric $350. But if you can play hookie for a day to get outside and enjoy this heart-warming 10-inch winter dump, caper on out to Hoigaard's and pick this baby up at half price, and then go hunt down a few flexible flyers on your favorite slope.

Hoigaard's, http://www.hoigaards.com/, Excelsior Boulevard at Highway 100

Let them eat gluten-free cake

2007-02-23T08:00:00.000-06:00

Something big is coming this weekend. Really big. And you’d think by the way everyone is prattling on about it that a gigantic window-rattling parade of porn stars in solid-gold Hummers is set to invade Hennepin Avenue this Saturday at noon. Nope. Nothing like that. It’s just the white stuff floating down from those lint-lined cumulous clouds. Big, giant flakes of not-so-adult entertainment.

So what better weekend to hole up at home stuffing your face with delicious baked goods? Better yet—wheat-free, gluten-free, and peanut-free baked goods? Delish and lovely baked goods that are actually, well, almost good for you?

The brainchild of self-proclaimed recovering lawyer Judy Malmon, Cooqi (pronounced “cookie”) is a bright and homey new bakery on Marshall Avenue in St. Paul. And the little bakery serves up everything your healthy little hearts desire: chocolate chip cookies, blueberry muffins, ginger cookies, brownies, cupcakes, pizza crusts, cookie dough, and more.

Malmon uses whole-grain flours instead of the unhealthy bleached and refined stuff that does a body no good. Even if you don’t suffer from gluten allergies, processed white flour is about as healthy as this year’s baddest boy, Mr. Evil High-Fructose Corn Syrup. So how can she create fluffy mountains out of gluten-free muffins? How can she make bread crusts bounce without the aid of yeast?

It doesn’t matter what the secret is to Malmon's sugary, gluten-free heaven. As long as it doesn’t have any of the white stuff (flour, not snow), we could devour eight cookies and two brownies in one sitting. Yes, one single session of cookie-eating brownie-binging madness. So you'd better hurry if you want to get your hands on these baked goods. By mid-afternoon, fans of Cooqi’s gluten-free goodies have gobbled up nearly everything in the display cases.

Cooqi: 2186 Marshall Ave., St. Paul,
http://www.cooqiglutenfree.com/

Lame name, cool bar, great secret gig

2007-02-22T09:14:00.000-06:00

Forget the mix of new-urban coolsies and old-school bar-stool warmers hanging out in Club Jager: The first things you notice at this swanky North Loop neighborhood joint are the tin ceilings and stained-glass windows. The domed Craftsman-era lamps and golden moldings. And the disco balls that turn the marbleized walls into liquid.

Wha? Mirrored orbs dancing alongside the shadows cast from stained-glass candles? Ok, it’s the single visual anachronism in this otherwise perfect Arts and Crafts time warp. And it works in this cozy little palace party room, because did we mention that it turns the walls into heavenly waterfalls?

This toasty spot on the corner of North Tenth Street and Washington Avenue also has a fireplace and minimalist leather chairs, the kind you can lounge in like you’ve just completed reading Fitzgerald and are about to retire with a high ball. Yes, a high ball, because that’s what you’d be drinking before retiring to your mission-style bed. And thankfully, Club Jager serves up tummy-warming liquor-filled drinks like Vanilla Nut Coffee ($6.50) that will aid in that retiring.

Of course, they also serve beer and wine, too. But save that for the nights when DJ Jake Rudh brings over his Transmission nights from the Hexagon, beginning March 7. The former Radio K deejay will have a weekly Wednesday gig at Jager, spinning everything from yacht rock to garage rock. In celebration of Mr. Rudh and his nostalgia machine, Jager promises drink specials, like $2 PBR’s.

But for tonight, right before the supposed big blizzard that will keep everyone locked safely in their caves like little cubs, music fans can cozy up to the fire and coffee-filled highballs and acoustic sounds of Kid Dakota. KD’s Darren Jackson will play a solo set on the bar's little stage. And all around him, the disco balls will turn the walls into waterfalls.

Club Jager: http://myspace.com/clubhousejager

More human than human

2007-02-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

There’s something about local artist Keegan Wenkman’s surreal, distorted imagery that makes his subjects appear more real and human. The characters in his paintings and illustrations have arrows through their heads and hearts. They have moon-sized faces and arms as thin as a string of Wrigley’s that’s been pulled and twirled around fingers too many times to count. They have eyes as big as plates and noses as small as roly-polies. And they’re all equally curious: Who are these people layered in thick paint squares and swirls? And where did those arrows come from?

Recently, the mostly self-taught artist has made a name for himself in the local music world for his posters filled with bizarre-afternoon-dream imagery. And now Wenkman has all of his one-of-a-kind hand-printed rock posters (as well as his paintings and illustrations) for sale on his web site, onefootinfront.com.

His latest poster for local musician Charlie Parr is loaded with the kind of mind-playing-tricks puzzle of images that have logical connections the more you stare at each one. Concentrate on one long enough like a game of memory, and suddenly you’re convinced the light bulbs, the crimson wolf, and the high-heeled shoes are the keys to the tale of the faceless man hovering in the poster’s center.

You can get Wenkman’s one-off rock posters—for big-name local acts like the Alarmists, Building Better Bombs, Gay Beast, Mystery Palace, and the aforementioned Charlie Parr—for $15 or $20, a sweet deal (for original art!) that also includes shipping. And his eerie, unearthly paintings and Victorian-inspired illustrations are quite a steal, too.

Wenkman’s current artwork can also be viewed at Outside and Others Gallery and Rogue Buddha Gallery.

Keegan Wenkman: http://www.onefootinfront.com/
Outsiders and Others: http://www.outsidersandothers.org/
Rogue Buddha Gallery: http://www.roguebuddha.com/

The greatest double date of the week

2007-02-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

You can think of at least 738 reasons to ditch work early today. And while perfecting your skills at bird whispering and watching the algae grow in your fish-less aquarium are totally valid reasons to call it quits, here are at least six more excuses to pack up your bags before the whistle blows: The Riverview Theater is showing the four Academy Award-nominated documentary shorts at 4:30 today through Thursday. And the theater's across-the-street neighbor, the Riverview Wine Bar, serves up the best wine flites and thin-crust pizzas in town.

Whether you're going solo, with a date, or with a friend, this pairing makes for a great double date. The famous art-deco theater is charging only five bucks for the quadruple feature of The Blood of Yingzhou District; Recycled Life; Rehearsing a Dream; and Two Hands. The award-nominated short films—ranging from stunningly heartbreaking to feel-good—run about 20 to 40 minutes each.

Afterward, head on over to the Riverview Wine Bar, where you can reflect on the four films. Cozy up to the fire and check out one of the bar's 12 different wine flites, a two-oz. sampling of wine varieties that comes with its own card so tasters can keep the names straight. There's a sampling of un-oaked whites and un-oaked reds. Funky whites and K-Syrah, Shiraz. No Merlot, Only Pinot and Cotes du Rhone, a selection of light and full-bodied wines from the French region first to turn grapes into vino.

You don't have to be a wine connoisseur or even know the difference between a bottle of fine French wine and a box of Franzia to enjoy toasting at this cozy neighborhood restaurant. In fact, drinking wine at the Riverview is a learning experience. The prices are cheap enough—and the selection deep enough—that a few tasty flites can make anyone feel like a wine critic.

The Riverview Wine Bar also has delicious pizzas like the Neufchatel and Goat Cheese, which also comes with pesto, roasted tomatoes, and pine nuts for $10.50. The sweet curry dressing on the roasted beet salad is so scrumptious you just might want to pour it into a glass and pretend it's Pinot. And to top off the evening and make you further dream of begging off work and sleeping in the next day, the desserts (like the cocoa-dusted homemade truffles) go great with the dark-roasted coffee from the Riverview Cafe next door.

Riverview Theater: http://www.riverviewtheater.com
Riverview Wine Bar: http://www.theriverview.net

Skinny skis and everything

2007-02-19T08:10:00.000-06:00

This is Holy Week for cross-country skiers all over the country, but most of all for the nation's urban center of all things XC—that would be the Twin Cities. This side of Oslo, no other American city has so many trails and so many strange people flitting around in one-piece particolored lycra suits.

Why is this week like no other week? It culminates on Saturday with the American Birkebeiner ski marathon. Just about 10,000 skiers will make their way up to Hayward, Wisconsin for their annual pilgrimage.

Last minute shoppers head to their favorite Twin Cities ski shop for power gels, waxing recommendations, spare pole tips, and the general feeling of excitement. So, among about a dozen great XC shops (not to be confused with the vulgar and vaguely red-neck downhill ski shops), which one rises above all the others? Any skier worth his flouro will tell you Finn-Sisu, the bizarre little shop on University Ave. in St. Paul's Midway.

Ahvo Taipale, a first-generation Finn, has run his faceless little shop for thirty years. (That's him in the photo.) From the outside, it looks like an accountant's office. Inside, though, the walls are racked with the sport's latest and great equipment, clothing, accessories, and supplies. More important, Ahvo employs folks who are as obsessed with skiing as your weekend warrior is—maybe more so—and they'll fill his or her ears with more minutiae than they'll ever remember.

Incidentally, Finn-Sisu is the one place in the area where you can buy those Marwe rollerskis you've been seeing all over the bike paths in recent years. Looking for a post-race gift that says, "You'll knock 'em dead next year, killer"? There you go!

Finn Sisu, http://www.finnsisu.com/, 1841 University Ave., St. Paul, 651.645.2443

A perfectly enchanting evening

2007-02-16T06:54:00.000-06:00

Everyone knows what a treasure the Jungle Theater is. And now that the city's finest indie playhouse has a common-law partner, the totally awesome J.P. American Bistro, can there really be a better night on the town than this: a cosmopolitan at JP's followed by whatever's playing at the Jungle, followed by a cosmopolitan at JP's?

Not to say every single production is a standing-O, but Bain Boehlke and his crew certainly have one helluva batting average. Their current offering, The Swan by Elizabeth Egloff, is a perfect Jungle vehicle: an intellectual and emotional provocation requiring great acting. And great acting it shall have.

Jennifer Blagen is one of the cities' finest professional actors, and her long association with both the Guthrie and the Jungle have produced many memorable performances. We last saw her in Harold Pinter's Betrayal, and we can't make plans fast enough to see her in the lead role of what's been described as a "fairytale for grownups."

We'll interpret that as a fairytale that begins and ends with a nice cocktail across the alley.

The Jungle Theater, http://www.jungletheater.com/, 2951 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612.822.7063

Hipsters and chipsters unite!

2007-02-15T08:00:00.000-06:00

Are you forever on the lookout for the perfect tortilla chip? You've been eating Little Bear Bearitos and Frontera for a while now—the organic white and yellow corn chips that come from somewhere in California or Colorado. And the truth is, you occasionally break down and buy a monster bag of agribusiness because that's all you can find at the corner store.

But the other day you found a new brand on sale at the co-op: Whole Grain Milling Company tortilla chips. It turns out these organic, non-GMO, high-protein tortilla chips are the bomb, and you are not the first to notice: They were mentioned in McSweeney's, the hipster literary quarterly and webzine sprung from Dave Eggers' forehead. There they have been called "the most unbelievable and delicious yellow corn tortilla chips ever to feed mankind." We agree. They're delicately crunchy on the tooth, slightly oily on the tongue, with a hint of salt to perfection. They're like sunshine fried in unsalted butter.

And they're made right here, by the Hilgendorf family in Welcome, Minnesota!

You don't need to know where Welcome, Minnesota is. We don't. But we know you can get these chips at the Wedge and at Linden Hills coop, and you should go and get them now. Unfortunately, we have not yet discovered a salsa that is equal to these chips, but we've been known to gobble a whole bag without so much as a sip of water.

Ralph Hilgendorf, Whole Grain Milling Co., Box 78, Welcome, MN, 612.644.6265

Valentine's Day for swingers

2007-02-14T08:00:00.000-06:00

So you're late to the game—from Valentine's Day to the Swing Dance craze. Today is your day, and you can do both in one kick-ball-change. Consider the delighful, romantic, slightly bohemian environs of Four Seasons Dance Studio. It's a bright, ragged little room right in the middle of the city's most interesting alley, that dogleg of painted brick, ironwork, and pavé between Bar Lurçat and Lunalux at Loring Park.

And a run of five classes in beginning Swing will run you and your beloved just $60. Show up with your dancing shoes any Wednesday night at 6 p.m. for some low key lessons. But get there early to carve out your space on the floor: These classes are fast becoming the talk of the town.

Discuss the sudden popularity—the TV show or the movies?—afterward over a glass of prosecco at Lurçat. (Oh, and people! Either say "Loor SAH," or drop the "ç" and continue saying "Loor COT." True, it's hard to know which strategy would be less pretentious, but tonight it's all about earnest love.)

Four Seasons Dance, http://www.fourseasonsdance.com/, 612.342.0902, 1637 Hennepin Avenue South, Minneapolis

Clearing her pipes

2007-02-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

Because she always forgot to buy lint traps at the hardware store, she felt guilty about all the lint going down the basement drain from the washing machine. Her guilt finally paid off, when the floor drain backed up and the washroom was flooded with murky purple water. This sent her to the phone, gagging with disgust. She called the biggest brand-name with the biggest ads in the Yellow Pages. Classic nightmare scenario ensued: Guy was a jerk who treated her like an idiot, he couldn't do the job, wanted to charge twice the price.

Now she was pissed.

Her brilliant and together sister recommended a local mom and pop called Drain Busters. She called them up and had one of the most courteous and respectful business calls she'd ever had on the phone. Three days later, a strapping young man named Joe arrived, wiped his feet for a full minute on the welcome mat, explained that he'd first diagnose the problem, then snake her drain.

And that's precisely what he did, explaining that it wasn't so much the lint. It was the age of the house. Her 1920 bungalow in Kingfield had settled into its foundation, and the result was a marked decrease in the "pitch" of the drain pipe to the sewer line. A simple problem with many cheap solutions. For $65 and a six month guarantee, the problem was fixed, a friend was made, a conscience was relieved, and a lesson in 20th century architecture was learned.

It's unusual—but not illegal—to tip the drain guy.

Drain Busters, 952.925.9583