Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Armitage Heights: The next Seattle?

The best blog in town isn't about our town at all. It has nothing to do with "wingnuts" and "moonbats." And it isn't tired ol' he said/she said baiting or full of predictable mud-slinging politics and unsubstantiated claims. Ok, we lied about the unsubstantiated claims. Because the best blog in town ( is written by a pretend councilman from a fake town in a made-up neighborhood called Armitage Heights.

Meet Sherman Larson. The Councilman of the 3rd Ward and Armitage Heights neighborhood (a town just on the edge of Little Warsaw). He's a 38-year-old fan of R.E.M. and local band the October Revolutionists. And he's the brainchild of real-not-fake Minneapolis artist/writer/man-about-town Andy Sturdevant. It won't be long before Sturdevant leaves the Heights for greener pastures and Zeppelin-free neighborhoods. We predict big things for this guy, so it'd be wise to visit the Heights before the entire neighborhood suffers the fate of its own Marla Manda Johanssen, a right-wing handgun activist who caught dysentery.

The goings-on in this un-Dickensian and complex little 'hood sometimes mirror the stories unfolding in our own backyard. Armitage Heights, for example, is experiencing its own condo bust, though it's a claim made by the local alt-weekly that Mr. Larson vehemently denies. After all, the Gruyere Flats Luxury and Artisanal Cheese Despository offers "sharp, dry, delicious living in the historic St. Aloysisus Greek Orthodox Veterans Hospital in Kendall Park!" And who could argue with such plasma-TV promises?

Oh, ye olde Armitage Heights. Once we visit you, we can never go back home. We left our hearts in Armitage Heights forever.

Armitage Heights blog:
Andy Sturdevant:

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